The Baby MEG Study, Part II

One year ago, Junior participated in a baby MEG study. The study required him to sleep on a little bed, with the top of his head ensconced in a little hollow within the neuroimaging machine. At 13 months, he was a reliable twice-a-day napper, so we scheduled the study for his morning nap. However, being in a new environment with lots of unfamiliar, very businesslike people distracted him from his routine. The study coordinator and I spent an hour trying to soothe him, and eventually he fell asleep. Five minutes later, the research team requested that I scooch his head just a little bit more into the hollow. That woke him up, ended the study, and we walked out of there with enough money to fund many new baby outfits. So...worth it!

Note: MEG stands for magnetoencephalography. Here is further reading, if you wish, ducklings.

On Monday we went back. The study was different this time, since Junior can now follow instructions. First, they attached some sensors:

Next, they scanned his head with an instrument that looks like a handheld barcode reader. The corresponding 3D image appeared on a nearby laptop, because we live in the future. Then, when the team was ready, we went into the sealed room where the machine lay. "Our old nemesis," Junior and I said, in unison.

He lay down, and his head was almost too big for the hollow space this time around. A monitor hung from the ceiling above his feet. For the study, he had to keep his eyes on the center of the screen as images flashed and the baby MEG scanned his brain activity.

And, thank goodness, he was perfect. He dutifully watched the images, limiting his disruptive activities to picking his nose and lifting his legs to touch his toes (which blocked his line of sight). There were maybe 10 videos, each one ranging from 15 seconds to one minute in length. The images were tiny and I had trouble identifying all of them. So I used that as a way to keep Junior interested, asking him, "Does that one look like a polar bear or a snowman?" and "That must be a garden gnome! Do you know what a garden gnome is?" Shapes showed up, too, in various locations onscreen (e.g. to the right instead of in the center) depending on the video file.

Things started to look a little dicey about halfway through, as Junior became more squirmy (remember: he's two!) and started demanding to see videos of trucks instead. The researchers obliged by pulling up another window for some YouTube goodness. After every image video, he got to watch maybe 20 seconds of trucks. I also lied promised him that he could watch all the videos he wanted when we got back home.

When we finished, the study coordinator gushed that it "went really well!" As our reward, we got two gift cards. I plan to use them to buy Junior some new jeans, since he's outgrown a couple of pairs. And, y'know, momma might need a li'l something for transporting him to and from the study via my legs. New shoes, perhaps?

I took Junior to a nearby playground to stretch his legs:

For both of us, it was the perfect end to the morning.

TL;DR: Junior did a study FOR SCIENCE!!!

---

This post is brought to you by my sudden realization that the year's almost over! Aiyah!

Junior: 2nd Annual Report

Junior celebrated his second year quite recently, to the disbelief of strangers who have experienced his lengthy speeches about different types of trucks, speeches delivered at extreme close range, high volume, and with much spittle. In this report, I will briefly describe his many accomplishments to date, and propose areas for further exploration and development.

For a recap, Junior's first annual report is here.

1. Language Skills: Excellent
Junior's vocabulary building continues apace. He is capable of having vague conversations about items he has seen, such as trucks, trees, birds, trucks, insects, food, trucks, and also trucks. He can deliver multisyllabic phrases such as "Happy anniversary!" with love and sincerity. He recognizes superheroes and is keenly interested in Spider-man, possibly because he is attracted to the color red. In the photo below, he is modeling his Batman pajamas from his dear Auntie H. "That's Batman!" he replied, when asked to identify himself.

He can count to 20 in English (skipping 12 for some reason), to 10 in Tagalog, and is known to launch impromptu concerts in public with such hit singles as "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "Row Row Row Your Boat." 

In terms of further language growth, he has begun to show an interest in written letters and numbers. His biggest issue is his Tagalog, which lags behind his English. We have invested in TFC (The Filipino Channel) for background language immersion and will update the Board of any observed gains.

2. Looks: Excellent

Junior continues to slay with his cuteness. His skin is baby-perfect, his hair is fabulous, and he takes good care of his teeth. Case in point: when he feels plaque, he alerts us and then stays still for flossing. According to our on-call expert*, his superhuman eyelashes are his best feature.

*Mamala

Junior also understands the importance of moisturizing, so he likes a dab of lotion and lip balm whenever mommy's having any. The longest lip balm has stayed on his lips before being licked off is 0.1s.

Because he has inherited much of his physical appearance from his father, Junior has a monobrow waiting to happen. Preliminary investigations reveal that the earliest one can wax a child is age nine. However, the Fragrant Household will have this discussion whenever Junior feels the need to bring it up, which we estimate will be around ages 13-16.

3. Temperament: Very Good
Junior is frequently pleasant and often camera-ready, as in the photo below:

However, since he is now in his Terrible Twos, there are times when he melts down when denied something desired. For example, when another child is riding a toy bulldozer in the playground, Junior will wail piteously at the top of his lungs, jump up and down to express his agony, and roll around on the ground just in case anyone doubts the excruciating pain he is undergoing at having to wait his turn. We are using the DIBS tactic -- Distract, Ignore, Bribe, and/or Shush -- to counter these tantrums. We are optimistic that Junior's inherent cheerfulness will eventually help us all surmount this trying period.

4. Appetite and Growth: Excellent
Junior requires, nay, demands full adult-size portions of fruits and grains. He consumes appropriate amounts of meat and vegetables, and is given sweets as a rare treat. 

He currently wears size 3T clothing and US 8 shoes (ahem ahem Christmas gifts). His latest growth spurt -- and resulting ravenous eating habits -- have resulted in noticeably fuller cheeks and a rounder stomach, which only serves to enhance #2 above.

We anticipate a steady progression of Junior's appetite and growth and have no issues to highlight for this report.

5. Sleep: Very Good
Junior's present sleeping habits are much improved from his first year. Two changes stand out: 1) his naps can now go up to three hours, and 2) he can sleep in as late as 7:00 AM.

Unfortunately, he still wakes up in the middle of the night and cries unceasingly for either mom or dad. We speculate that a stuffed truck might be able to comfort him during these times, and will be looking into this possible solution.

Conclusion
Junior's language skills, looks, appetite, and growth are all excellent. Meanwhile, his temperament has been downgraded to very good due to occasional tantrums. Finally, his sleep has improved to the very good level due to longer naps and sleep times.

Overall, Junior has progressed in a highly satisfactory manner, and we hope the Board agrees that showering him with love, affection, and gifts is fair recompense for all his hard yet seemingly effortless work.

We thank you again for supporting Junior and look forward to communicating his continuing excellence in our next reports.

Sincerely,
Fragrant Elephant
Supreme Commander, Empress, Guardian of the Baby Gate, Keeper of the Chronicles, Mommy McBragface

Toddler Dictionary

As Junior continues his merry, terrifyingly rapid absorption of new words and concepts, it's becoming increasingly apparent that not everything is making it through his expanding cerebral cortex. Let's just say he's still sounding out his words, see below:

This is a BULDABA--

This is EMILY--

He's obsessed with EYBEESHEE--

And here's a HAPILAPA--

Since these are things that we see every day in the city, he gets to practice these words a lot. I'm confident he'll get the right pronunciation eventually, one syllable at a time!

---

Meanwhile, it's taken quite a bit of mental labor for me to compile this handy guide for his Tagalog:

ALAMA	walang laman (empty)
BALABA	sa labas (outside)
BIKA	bisikleta (bicycle)
LUK-A	lakad (walk)

---

Fortunately, he can pronounce most words correctly, or at least intelligibly, as long as they're two syllables and under. Hence the problems with Tagalog, which "has a hundred syllables per word," or so hubby opines.

TL;DR: Junior is becoming quite the chatterbox!

This post brought to you by fancy Canadian chocolate!

Language Development Study at Harvard

Fig.1: Recruitment poster for study

ABSTRACT

Background: Last week, Junior and I participated in a Language Development Study. The study's goal: to check for the correlation between vocabulary and speed of learning new words. The study's subjects: babies ages 16 months to 2 years old, and their parental unit/s.

Methods: The study was divided into three parts: a game between the research assistant (RA) and the subject; the parent reading a story and teaching a new word to the subject; and the subject watching videos and identifying the correct object via voice prompts. The primary endpoint was the subject's ability to accurately learn new words.

Results: Junior learned the new words, but only after two or three errors.

Conclusions: We got a First 100 Words book out of the deal, so now he'll learn even more words! Also, a baby's having a large vocabulary (i.e. 30+ single words) may be predictive of the ability to quickly learn new words.

INTRODUCTION

Junior has been contributing to science from a very young age. So far, he has been a very obliging control infant in a longitudinal allergy study at Healing Peanuts, Inc., and a grumpy and unwilling one for a baby MEG (magnetoencephalography) study, also at HPI. His latest adventure took him across the river, to my old stomping grounds of Harvard Square. This study promised to be more interactive, if less remunerative.

The Language Development Study is conducted by the Rowe Lab, which focuses on "the role of social interactions in children’s cognitive development, primarily language and literacy development from birth to age five." (source: Rowe Lab website) Their offices are large and equipped with child toys and furniture, and the RAs who worked with us were clearly very experienced at working with kids. I had to stop Junior several times from wandering off to follow one of the RAs or from checking out all the toys stashed in various offices.

METHODS

Patient population

Babies ages 16-24 months are recruited for the study. They must be from households that speak English at least 50% of the time. 

Study Management

At the beginning of the study, parents complete a 10-minute questionnaire about demographic information, words known by their baby, and an intriguing set of questions about which quality they valued more in children (e.g. independence versus respect for elders, being considerate versus being well-behaved). During this time, the RAs establish rapport with the baby by pointing out objects in the room such as the animal stickers on the wall -- testing the subject's vocabulary in the process.

Then the study proper begins, composed of three parts. Part 1A consists of a game between an RA and the child. The RA hides a sticker under one of three different-colored cups, and the subject must choose the correct cup to retrieve the prize. In Part 1B, the RA literally adds another layer to the game by covering the cups in a scarf, then taking it off before asking the subject to select the right cup. Meanwhile, the other RA records the proceedings in another room.

During Part 2, the RA leaves after giving the parent a book with instructions to read it to the baby ("In English, please, so we understand," I was told), and to teach the little one a new word. It's a made-up word attached to a picture of Jigglypuff, although it would have been extremely entertaining to teach Junior how to say the Pokemon's actual name. I suspect "jee-puh" is what would have resulted.

Anyway, Part 2 takes 8 minutes, the book has no words so the parent has to explain the story on the fly, and the whole thing is also recorded.

In Part 3A, the dyad is taken to another room with a chair and a wall TV mounted with a webcam. The parent puts on shades so as not to lead the baby's gaze with his/her own. The baby, on the parent's lap, looks at the screen and is shown two objects. A voice prompts the baby to look at one of the objects, and accuracy is tracked using eye movements.

After 5 minutes of video, Part 3B begins. Both RAs come in to introduce two new objects to the subject using oddly-shaped stuffed toys. One is "Pimo" and the other is "Moku," and both come out of a box one at a time. After several repeated showings of each object, a long board with five stuffed toys velcroed to it -- including a Pimo and a Moku -- is shown to the subject, who is asked to pick out one of the new objects s/he has just been taught about, and to hand it to the RA. This continues until the baby consistently matches the object and the name.

Part 3C is the same as 3A, but with Pimo and Moku added to the video. This last part only takes 2 minutes.

Statistical Analysis

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

RESULTS

In Part 1A, Junior was able to find the sticker 2 times out of 4 (50%). In Part 1B, the sticker was also found twice during 4 attempts (50%).

In Part 2, Junior demonstrated his learning of the new word by speaking it after prompting from the RA.

Quantitative results for Parts 3A and C are unavailable at this time (since I had my eyes covered), but both RAs were very impressed by Junior's ability to sit still during the entire run of both videos.

For Part 3B, Junior was able to pick out Pimo and Moku after 2 failed attempts.

DISCUSSION

Junior came into the study with a large vocabulary, which I deduced from the initial questionnaire that asked me to check the boxes next to words he already knew. He was able to learn new words after a few errors, which seems indicative of a positive correlation between size of vocabulary and speed at learning new words.

More importantly, both RAs gushed that Junior was the absolute best participant they've had so far, and could he please come back, which morally obligated me to take some of their fliers and post it in my building to help their recruitment efforts.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This work was supported in part by the MBTA, which took us to the test site and this time did not subject us to elevators that smelled of pee.

FINANCIAL DISCLOSURES

None.

---

TL;DR: Junior and I had a lot of fun at the Language Development Study!

This post brought to you by perfect spring weather!

Junior Update: the Helper Toddler

Sometime in the last month, something in Junior's brain hit the accelerator. My little peanut, who at age one could only scream incoherently with excitement, hunger, or thirst, and whose only word for the last two months was "More!", has now mastered numerous words in English and Tagalog, including:

eyes/mata	nose/ilong	belly/tiyan	buhok (hair)
paa (feet)	kamay (hands)	ngipin (teeth)	bubble
waffle	apple	pasta	isda (fish)
doggie	truck	bus	bird
bisikleta (bicycle)	dahon (leaf)	puno (tree)	airplane
unan (pillow)	shoes	medyas/socks	down/baba

...et cetera.

And he goes "Uh-oh!" or "Hala!" whenever he drops something, which is often.

Apart from his impressive linguistic growth, he is now capable of frankly terrifying feats, including clambering up on our bar stools and scaling the living room table so he can dance from an elevated stage. I think we've successfully discouraged tabletop climbing and dancing, but have allowed him to sit at the counter like a big boy:

Tucking into breakfast at the counter

Since he hangs out with me in the kitchen a lot, I've had to impart an important concept: "mainit," to which he responds: "Hot!" The initial teaching of heat was in the form of letting him briefly touch my mug full of piping hot coffee in the mornings. However, one event seared the concept into his memory: I was carrying him to show him the rice cooker, pointing out that it was hot. His little hand shot out, just as a burst of steam erupted from the steam hole in the lid. After I made sure he wasn't burned, when he finished wailing I said, "Mainit!" And that was that.

Impressed by his cognitive development, I decided it was now time to begin his formal training as Mommy's Little Helper. This continues a tradition by my mother, who employed me as her Coke, and later Diet Coke, runner as a child. At meal times, I would stand at attention while she savored every morsel of her multiple courses, and when she barked, "Kunan mo ko ng Coke!" (get me a coke) I would run to the fridge and back with a 2-liter bottle like a diabetes-bearing missile.*

*parts of this story may be exaggerated

Step 1: Self-Service
Anyway, the first step in training Junior to be a Helper was to familiarize him with the concept of self-service. For example, in the past couple of weeks he started bringing me his nursing pillow when I said, "Dede?" (Nurse?) as part of his bedtime routine. Then he realized that the pink kidney-looking abomination had to be there for him to nurse, followed by the idea that if he brought it over, he could control the time of nursing. Sweet deal, if you ask me.

BYONP (bring your own nursing pillow)

Self-dressing is part of step #1, but this one we have to delay because he doesn't quite have the coordination yet. I shudder to think of the blood and the howling when he inevitably zippers his own chin.

Step 2: Tidying Up
After self-service, the next step is to have him help me put things away. At home, his training consists of helping me make the bed in his room by handing me the pillows on the floor:

He actually can't even lift this pillow above his waist

He also knows to grab a towel from the kitchen rack to wipe up spills -- which, you guessed it, he himself caused -- so he can wipe them up. This is some Inception stuff right here, folks. Hilariously, his reaction to spilled popcorn is the same: "Punas, punas!" (wipe, wipe) Still teaching him to pick up the kernels instead of spreading them across the floor via wiping.

Yesterday he unlocked another achievement: when we got home, I stopped him mid-scamper to the bar stool to ask him to put his shoes on the shoe rack -- which he did!!! Hurrah!!!

Meanwhile, Daddy sets an example every night by putting toys away during wind down time, which has the added bonus of reducing both our chances of getting impaled by a tiny car when one of us rushes in to soothe him at 4AM.

Step 3: Opening Doors
At daycare, when requested, he opens the door to the stroller closet (the only door he can reach). He's been doing an admirable job, except for blocking the doorway when I go to lug in his chariot. We're working on it.

Step 4: That Thing I Don't Like Doing
The final step, obviously, is to have him do his own laundry, because it's low on my list of fun household activities. (Since you asked, my favorite home task is making coffee.) While the picture below is meant to fool you into thinking he can actually do this, in fact he just loves twisting the knob for the different wash settings, and also he learned to say "cheese" for the camera, so...yeah. Although he did load the towels into the washing machine when I asked! Baby steps, baby steps. When he can start reading I'll have him actually set the wash cycle and press start.

Final step: do my own laundry!

In summary, Junior has attained a new level of cuteness (I must capture his adorable dinosaur roaring, chubby fists clenched, on video) and smarts. I am very proud. You can call me Braggy McMomface. And yes, I know the Terrible Twos and/or Threes is/are coming. Just let me have this moment!

TL;DR: At 18 months, Junior can understand enough to follow some orders.

This post brought to you by pork sinigang!

Toddler Sleep Training

Junior is perfect except for one thing: his inability to soothe himself back to sleep. And his sonic scream when he's hungry. And his tripping over perfectly flat surfaces. Okay, maybe he's not perfect.

Sleep is a panacea -- it heals the body, helps the mind sort the day's events, improves mood, and contributes to weight loss/maintenance! (source: IIRC)

As new parents, sleep is now a mere memory for hubby and me. It's hard to parent, let alone function, without sufficient sleep. Fortunately, we perfected a bedtime routine for Junior that lets him get enough sleep (minimum 10 hours a night) and lets us relax for a couple of hours before our own lights out.

This is a four-step process, and times indicated are approximate:

Step 1: Wind Down (6pm) -- Daddy takes Junior to his room, where there's no bustle (e.g. cleaning up dinner dishes). Junior quietly plays with his toys while Daddy catches up on the news. Then Daddy changes Junior into pajamas.

Step 2: Nursing (6:30pm) -- Junior's pediatrician sternly reminds us that breastfeeding is now very, very supplementary to his diet, so nowadays, this is his second and final session for the day (the first being in the AM).

Step 3: Toothbrushing (6:35pm) -- I brush Junior's teeth with just a dab of toothpaste, and afterwards allow him to suck on the toothbrush for that minty fresh flavor!

Step 4: Story Time (6:40pm) -- Junior's favorite part. He clambers into bed beside Daddy, who has selected a book from our spawn's vast library, which contains no less than three copies of Brown Bear, Brown Bear.

And then he gets put in the crib for lights out:

In the dark times before the Empire, Junior would only sleep in three-hour intervals, which required logistical planning on our part. Who would take first watch? How would we soothe him? Daddy usually got up first, and I would be called in if the crying escalated. It was awful and we were both grumpy in the morning, while Junior played merrily.

But then one day, a bit after Junior turned one, Daddy put his foot down and said, "It's time to let him cry it out." In other words, the little one had to learn to soothe himself back to sleep, without one of us there patting his back or shoving boobs at his face. The ultimate goal was to get everyone a solid night's sleep.

And y'know what? ...It worked! Eventually, anyway. There was a lot of backsliding (by me, admittedly, I can't sleep when he's crying) in the first few weeks, but by 14-15 months of age, Junior was sleeping through the night, mostly. He would wake up, utter a wail, and then settle back down. We learned to distinguish between "I am disoriented but will be back asleep soon!" and "I am upset and will get louder and louder!!!"

Don't get me wrong -- I'm still a zombie because my sleep ledger remains in the red. I'm the grumpiest I've been since my teenage angst years (so long ago...). Hubby seems to be faring better, probably due to sheer grit, and also headphones at night.

We suspect that Junior's teething right now (molars!!!) so he's periodically been waking up fussy. Argh. They do say that sleep routines get messed up every now and then. 

But at least we have our nightly ritual that has him in bed, asleep, at 7 pm...giving us a few hours of breathing room in the evenings.

TL;DR: A bedtime routine for toddler helps with family sleep!

This post brought to you by one of those oddly warm winter days!

My First Airplane Ride: an Account by Fragrant Junior

The day began as it always did, with myself singing sweetly to my parents in the other room that the sun was to rise momentarily, and now is the moment to come release me from my crib so that we may enjoy it together. Mother came in (hurrah!), and gave me my pre-breakfast energy drink (double hurrah!!)

Author's note : "Double hurrah" -- get it? Because I have two, er, milkshake dispensers?!?!?! (Author's addendum: I explain for the sake of dum-dums like myself who would never have gotten it.)

After a wholesome meal of waffle and banana, I suffered myself to be changed into a fresh diaper and a set of clothes. I was then allowed to run about and play with all my new gifts from my adoring worshippers. But then I realized that I should earn my keep, especially as we were to embark on a long journey, so I called the airline:

Me: I would like to confirm our flight. Reservation code is [REDACTED]. 

Person: Yes, two seats on the bulkhead and a bassinet, that's confirmed. 

Me: A bassinet? That can't be right. What are the height and weight limits on that?

Person: The maximum weight is 10.5 kilos, sir. The bassinet is 77 cm in length. 

Me: Well, I -- I mean, the baby -- happens to be over both of those measurements, so cancel the bassinet, please. 

Person: Understood. 

***

Having done my duty, I played the part of the perfect pre-boarding passenger, waving at all the new fans I inevitably attracted. It was quite tiring to be on all the time, so I occasionally took time to re-center myself. 

When the time came for boarding and takeoff, I again pulled off a flawless performance: friendly, not too loud, and only slightly filthy from all the chocolate I'd been given. 

Author's warning: Do not make the same mistake I did. No sweets to the little one before takeoff!

***

Father seems extremely upset about not having the bassinet. He keeps telling Mother that he bought these seats specifically so we could have a bassinet. 

Oops. 

***

Good news: the flight attendants asked the passenger across the aisle to scoot over one so we could have a whole other non-occupied seat for our family of three! She (the passenger) keeps waving to me. She is very nice. I am waving back. 

***

I listened to some light music after lunch, in preparation for my nap:

But I couldn't stop my mind from wrestling with so many questions. Why wasn't I allowed to run down all the aisles? Why did Father forbid me from having more chocolate? How will world leaders enforce the resolutions of the Paris climate talks?

I eventually drifted off into sweet oblivion, cradled in the loving arms of Mother. 

***

Play, play, play:

***

NO! NO! I WILL NOT SLEEP!!! THIS IS THE MOST AWFUL EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE!!! YOU ARE ALL TERRIBLE!!! THERE WAS SOMEONE ON THE GRASSY KNOLL!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(repeat for three hours)

***

Fine, flight attendant, I'll have some milk in a plastic cup. Awww, you drew a face on the lid! That's going the extra mile right there. To thank you, I will have a short nap on Father's shoulder. 

***

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(repeat for three hours)

***

We are at another airport! This one has nice floors, perfect for eating my snacks:

Ooo, we're getting on another airplane! I can't wait to...can't...can't...

SNOOOOOOORE

(For four glorious hours! On a five-hour flight!)

***

We're here! We're here!

IT'S SO HOT!!! MOMMMM, TAKE ONE LAYER OFF AT LEAST! DO I REALLY NEED THIS SANDO?

Ahhh, thank you. Slightly better. 

***

And that, dear readers, is the long version of my very first airplane ride(s). The bulleted version is:

12:30 Takeoff. Playtime. 

15:30 Nap. 

16:30 Playtime. 

18:30 Crying time. 

21:30 Uneasy sleep. 

22:30 Crying time. 

02:00 Landing. 

TL;DR: We all survived a 15-month-old's first airplane ride. 

This post brought to you by mommy and daddy time in Boracay!

My Son the Ramen Monster

Ramen is a Japanese noodle dish that you can get for 600 yen in Kyoto, or twice that in Boston, which really should be rectified because the two cities are sister cities, but I digress. Ramen's essential ramen-ness is in its broth and noodles. If you would like to watch a very Japanese (read: wonderful and weird) movie about ramen, I recommend Tampopo, where the heroine goes to great lengths to spy on the secret broth ingredients of her would-be competitors. There's also an episode of Golden Boy where he works at a ramen shop and learns how to make noodles, but it's rather pervy so let's keep that in your "maybe?" pile.

Anyway, the point is that ramen is delicious and your bowl must be emptied, broth and all, to show respect for the chef. When I lived in Kyoto, I watched any number of sarariman just pound those giant bowls like it ain't no thang, and so I learned to completely finish off my ramen. Also, apparently in Japan it is super bad to ask for a doggie bag, because you're expected to eat everything you ordered. This was back in '05, you understand, but I doubt Japanese society has changed too much. Well, we'll find out when I take my mom on her Japan tour, after I win the lottery, obviously. Again, I digress.

The real point of that rambling preamble is to reveal that my son is a ramen monster. HE WILL NOT STOP UNTIL HE HAS ALL THE RAMEN. I first found out that he even liked ramen during a routine lunch stop at H Mart, when I placed some noodles from my bowl in front of him. He likes pasta, so I figured, hey, wheat noodles are wheat noodles. 

On that day, he ate half my bowl of ramen and demanded more. (This is including the pork, because he needs his protein, and the vegetables, because he really likes greens.)

So from that point forward, I would order an extra serving of noodles just for him. And all was well with the world.

But earlier today, I got my ramen order from Bon Me, and I'd never eaten there before, so I didn't know if they did extra noodles. I had to share my bowl with a bottomless pit. :(

Here is Hubby trying to keep pace with the Ramen Monster:

Which begs the question: is this how Hubby feels when I polish off a giant bowl of ramen? Does he wonder where it all goes? 

These are rhetorical questions; the answer is of course yes. So the family now has two ramen monsters, is what I am saying. 

TL;DR: Junior eats just like mommy.

This post brought to you by homebrewed mead and stovetop popcorn!

Happy Halloween!

This year, Junior got to wear his costume in the two days leading up to Halloween. (He's not trick-or-treating yet.) Props to Daddy for the excellent costume choice (via amazon).

Top three reactions to Junior's costume:

1) "AAAWWWWWWWW!!!"
2) "What is she supposed to be?" (reply: "He is an octopus.")
3) "Is that a calamari?"

Dress rehearsal

*DAY 1*

Day care costume parade

Halloween party

*DAY 2*

After scoring free cookie 

Exhausted octopus

Note: Hubby chose this costume to go with our family theme of Chthulu -- Junior is supposed to be baby Chthulu; his tentacles are meant to migrate to his face when mature.

Proud Chthulu Dad, Li'l Chthulu

TL;DR: My baby is the menace of the deep.

This post brought to you by coffee!

Toddler Shenanigans

First, some advertising:

Get it? hur hur hur

Ah, the leaves have turned, the mornings are thirty degrees, and that means: TINY HUMANS IN ADORABLE FALL CLOTHES!!! Seriously, a lot of the little girls at the playgrounds are way more fashionable than I've ever been at any point in my life.

But, on to the point: toddlerhood. Now that Junior can toddle, he's a toddler, so there. Here is a checklist of what he's supposed to be able to accomplish at his current age (source: BabyCentre, the UK one):

Level 1: stand alone (check), bend to pick up objects (check), use two words skillfully (errr....)

Let's address that last point. Junior uses syllables skillfully. He's bilingual, too! I speak to him exclusively in Tagalog, and everyone else uses English at him. So he understands the term "bola" and "ball" (same thing), and he's settled for a term somewhere in the middle: "boh, boh." He also seems to think that every vehicle is a bus, which he calls "buh, buh." He understands, "Asan si Papa?" ("Where's dad?", or let's be honest, "Go bug dad") and, at peak whiny, will wail, "mama, mama" using just the right tone to trigger an immediate response from me. He is crafty, this one.

Side note: according to his day care teachers, he lectures the other babies when they misbehave: "Doh doh dow dow DOH doh!" is apparently how it goes.

So I'm going to put a check next to that skill. On to...

Level 2: enjoy looking at own reflection (check), drinks from a cup (check, also uses straw), plays "peekaboo" (check, often initiates game using "come-hither" peekaboo face, it is very cute)

All right, he's pretty good on his Emerging Skills. But what about...

Level 3: combine words and gestures to express wants (check, e.g. pointing and frantic head shakes combined with "no no"), tries to lift heavy things (yeah, I really need to stop bringing him to the gym and letting him play near the kettle bells #parentingfail), rolls a ball back and forth (and throws it at your face) 

As mentioned above, his syllable skills are top-notch, and since he points to what he wants, he can get it once we've used the process of elimination on all counter top items ("What d'you want? Your water? Not your water? Peanut butter? No? Oh, you want my food...")

###

Now, I know I may be painting a picture of a genius toddler here, and perhaps you are giving me side eye for being biased, but bear with me. Here I present two pieces of evidence for his extraordinary brilliance:

Exhibit A: Problem Solving

Charlie's like, I have nothing to do with this, I'm out.

Junior has been very interested in climbing lately, mostly stairs and his father. He's also very dedicated to reaching for things that are on top of things. Yesterday he combined those two passions by flipping over the laundry basket, clambering on top, and using his newfound height to swipe at previously unreachable objects. In the picture above, he has granted himself access to my vast collection of change, which I've been meaning to put into coin rollers to exchange for bills at the bank. (Well, I at least got the coin rollers. The orange strip near his hand is for quarters.)

Of course, there are  times when he's too clever for his own good, like when he closes the door of whatever room he's in and promptly panics because the big people are on the other side and he hasn't mastered door knobs yet. Or when he opens snack containers by smashing them on the floor and earns the Mom Face of Doom. Or when he used to crawl through the pet gate (!) meant to keep him away from the kitty litter box -- at least now he's too big to do that.

And here is definitive proof that Junior is smaht:

Exhibit B: Drink Preference

That is some fine microbrew that he is holding in his chubby hands. Oktoberfest, yum yum, just the right flavor for tiny tots. And please note how he is rocking that mustache (pacifier). Truly, he is gifted.

###

It's not all butterflies and beer in the Fragrant Household, though. Junior is teething, and he goes full-on drama mode when he feels a twinge, which is usually at at 2AM or 4AM, or both. And this is on top of his daily 5:30AM nursing demands, followed by a 6:30AM kick to my face (after we fall asleep cuddling, awww -- just kidding, it's like cuddling next to a giant non-slimy earthworm: squirm, squirm, squirm).

He also gets hungry frequently, and follows me around whining piteously and doing his best to interrupt what I'm currently doing, which is preparing his food. I can only fend him off temporarily with yogurt pouch, crackers, and other small snacks -- he needs his rice and protein to make it another hour! 

He still needs to learn not to throw his food to indicate that he's done. When he first started doing that I was all, GRRRRRR, and now he is instantly exiled from his high chair. We'll see if it works in combination with demonstrating how to hand over his unwanted consumables.

Oh, and he is still the scourge of the kitties. No matter how many times we tell him and show him how to be gentle, he still goes into slap mode whenever Charlie's in reach (Maetel is too smart to be at floor level when he's around). Oy vey. Plus he'll grab for their kibble every chance he gets, which for science I bravely tasted, and it was disgusting -- like cardboard and fish. Blecchhhhhh

###

TL;DR: Toddler = shenanigans

This post brought to you by leftover chicken wings!

Junior is One Year Old!

I have three takeaways from Junior's first, rollercoaster year, but before that -- I must brag.

My son learned to walk before his first birthday.
Item 1: Regularly lifting 22 pounds every day was doing a number on my lower back.
Item 2: Junior's crawling skills had become so advanced that he could do the Cockroach Scuttle -- a lightning fast movement from Point A to Point B, designed to evade hunters.
Item 3: Junior had been cruising for a month, a precursor to actual walking.

The prep: In the three days before his birthday, I encouraged him to walk "long" distances with me, holding his hand and beaming encouragingly as he waddled three feet, his ponderous belly leading the way. He would fall, get boosted up again, waddle another three feet... you get the idea. I also took him to the park and pointed out all the other kids who could run, then helped him waddle to an area where he could cruise.

All our practice paid off. The big day came and he was all:

Just so unbearably cool and walking, NBD.

Here are some party photos. His cake was a Chocolate Birthday Cupcake from Georgetown Cupcakes on Newbury Street, because my baby deserves a $300 cupcake for his special day! Just kidding, divide that amount by 100.

Anyway, at first he had no idea what the cupcake even was, being much more interested in the bright shiny glowing thing that mommy and daddy blew out and quickly put away. Then he got a taste and his brain went "thing = delicious" and it was a choc-splosion. It got into his hair, his ears, the back of his chair (which he then licked off), and we had to take him to the tub to clean up.

That's how babies party!

***
And now... my three big takeaways from having my little peanut for a whole year:

1) Baby = (Time)(Effort) - Sleep
The simplest tasks are compounded by the Baby Factor. To get out the door in the morning, I get up at the crack of dawn to nurse. Then I have to shower, dress, feed myself, feed Junior, dress Junior, and then do one last diaper check before heading out, because chances are 50/50 that he just pooped. #timing

Or, say we stay in one day. Even though he broke his fast on an entire banana and a bowl of cereal, an hour later he'll be all:

And he'll do this while I'm preparing his snacks.

I tell younger people to wait before having babies, because their size is inversely proportional to the effort it takes to keep them alive and unharmed.

Now that Junior's one and walking, Hubby and I can leave him alone with his toys for minutes at a time, it is amazing. And he's even sleeping through the night, except when he's teething, which he will do for the next year! Oh, well.

The upside, as Hubby found out when he went on a work trip up north, is that we're now able to function normally at five in the morning, which helped him with his 5 a.m.-7 p.m. work days. Engineers: working overtime since forever because we need more of them!

2) It takes a village
It's been awesome how nice and helpful strangers are. When we're at restaurants, food servers will stop and do funny faces for him when he starts getting hangry. In fact, he's very willing to be carried around by waitresses for an impromptu restaurant tour. When we're on the train, other passengers will wave at him so he can practice being polite and adorable. Passersby will open doors for us. Faced with all this extra and very welcome participation, I reciprocate as best as I can when I see other parents with their little humans. 

Single moms are fucking heroes for doing this on their own, pardon my French. There were times, especially in the early days, when I had to walk away because I don't know what I would have done in my sleep-deprived state. Those times, Dad would heroically step in. (Obviously he steps in at other times, it's just that I was the main food source for the first 12 months.)

Having a kid is draining. It's also awesome and fun and will touch you in the feelings, but tending to all the needs of a whole 'nother human takes energy, and I, being an Energy Vampire, require at least one other adult as sustenance. Yay Hubby! Yay other people!
 
3) It gets better

The journey from screaming hungry raisin goblin to smiling hungry chubby cherub is fraught with peril and delights, but the love and joy outshine everything. I mean, look at that face.

The best part: no more pumping! *intense happy dance*

***

In case I'm giving off the vibe that I'm all happy-happy-motherhood, let me share this gripe: it's so annoying when other people are like, "Oooh, wait until he starts walking!" or "You can't wait for him to start talking, then you wish he'd shut up!"

I'll have you know that in my family, children are encouraged to be talkative, because tradition! My mom even expressed concern at a lack of pekpek ng baboy (pig vagina) here in the US, because in her hometown, that is what one feeds babies so they grow up to be chatterboxes! Apparently I ate a bunch of porcine unmentionables, and it totally worked!

The point is, parenting can be a blood sport, so new parents must forge Anti-Judgement Armor, and also refrain from firing Judgement Bullets. Of course, parents who shove their nostrils into the air and drawl about how little Wilder was nursed until age four, only ever eats artisanal organic kombucha (question: what is kombucha?), and didn't watch television until age five (lies!) are their very own parodies, so when you meet one, grab some popcorn and enjoy the show.

***

Unrelated: Junior tends to dance at random moments, and this is what he looks like:

Source: a commenter on Jezebel.

TL;DR: My baby turned one this month, see photos.

This post brought to you by Cerave Moisturizing Lotion! Cerave: well, my fingers haven't gotten worse, so it works?

Another Crucial Baby Lesson Learned

As Junior continues to level up, so too does his potential for terrifying hijinks. Yesterday was one such example. The picture provides proof of his power.

... Alliteration!

Anyway.

With Junior underfoot, I was ironing and concentrating on not having the little peanut grab the cord and pull the iron down on himself. As soon as I was done, I went to put the iron on a nearby unreachable surface. Then I heard a crash.

See, before I turned my back on him, Junior had pulled himself up using the bottom of the framed full-length mirror we had just bought and installed. As I walked away, he began pulling on it, and my forebrain made the calculations, consulted with my midbrain, and assured me that he couldn't possibly tear the mirror off the wall.

WRONG!

Junior had pulled in such a way that the hooks holding up the mirror had a conscious uncoupling from the wall, and the whole thing came crashing straight down. This is a good thing because, had it plummeted at an angle, the mirror's fall would have been broken...by Junior's head. Instead, the scene that greeted my panicked eyes was the mirror still standing -- frame broken, glass cracked, but still standing! -- and a blinking, unharmed baby.

I pulled him away from The Scene and laid him on our bed for a physical, checking his uncovered bits for bleeding or shards of glass. He was fine and already vocalizing about my using the phone to leave Hubby a hysterical voicemail ("The mirror broke! Baby broke the mirror! I think he's fine! Uh! Call me back!").

Then I strapped him to my back and cleaned up the mess. My heart rate went back to normal after about 30 minutes, at which point Junior was already blissfully napping, dreaming of his next feat of baby-inspired parental terror. I believe it's daddy's turn next.

TL;DR: We will now Velcro everything to everything.

This post brought to you by Fiji water! Fiji water: savor the taste of decadent capitalism! Also, read this tiny article about bottled water.

My Baby Looks Like He Ate Another Baby

(1) Mid-June                        (2) Early August

In the space of seven weeks, my favorite little peanut transformed from a tiny wobbling cherub into someone who looks like he's in construction and pounds Muscle Milk during his breaks.

His development has been rapid: he's unlocked crawling, pincer grip, responding to his name, yelling syllables to indicate...something, and cruising. His latest achievement is a multi-step process with the end goal of getting multiple Cheerios in his mouth:

1) Lick hand
2) Slam hand down on Cheerios on tray
3) Get lots of Cheerios stuck to hand
4) Shove entire hand in mouth

Truly, he is his mother's son.

He's also now able to stand on his own for about 2-3 seconds! Soon enough he'll be walking and his dad will be chasing him around. And then comes the natural next step...prepping him to get perfect scores on his SATs so he goes to college on a scholarship.

TL; DR: Babies grow up so fast!

This post brought to you by coffee! Coffee: helps keep you regular! Also, here is an article about civet coffee, the most expensive stuff.

The Calm Before the Storm

Baby Achievement Unlocked: Cruising

Definition: Ability to wobble from Point A to Point B using furniture/people for support.

Parental Skill Unlocked: Vigilance/Discernment + 50

Definition: Sharp hearing and ability to discern difference between impact sounds, e.g.:

*thwp* = baby falling on butt

*thwptmp* = baby falling on butt, catching self with arm

*thunk* = baby faceplant on furniture

*thudWAAAHHHHHHH* = baby faceplant on floor, baby very likely needs nap

Well, at least he's not talking yet...

---

This post brought to you by my new job! (GRIN)

Baby's First Open Casting Call!

Fragrant Junior is pretty. Often mistaken for a girl, his wide smile, bright personality, and forever squishable thighs make him a compact ball of magnetism and charisma. "Wow, he looks like he should be in a magazine!" is a comment that has made his shy, retiring mother blush demurely many a time.

So, for shits and giggles, today I took Baby to a baby open casting call at FancySchmancy Street. A dozen other babies had the same idea, and dragged their moms and grandmas along. There was one dad, too!

We all filed into a small room -- Baby and I snagged a front row seat -- and the owner of the talent agency gave us an overview of How It All Works. As I understand, here are the three most important points:

1. The agency acts as a middleman between the advertisers and the product (/baby).
2. Success is based upon the 40/60 ratio: 40% is how beautiful baby is, and 60% is "workability" -- how well s/he can be bribed to sit still for minutes at a time.
3. One needs a car to get to auditions.

Once the agency decides to accept the baby as a model (not guaranteed, of course), the parents would have to send baby's updated photos to the agency every few months, because the little peanuts grow up so quickly, don't they. So then, if, say, Carters wants a boy model who fits in 12-18 month clothes and has fabulous hair (ahem), the agency would call its clients and ask if they can go to the audition. If yes, there may or may not be a call back. Rates vary from $60 per hour to $800+ for really big projects. All up to the advertisers!

After the explanation, we each met with the owner and/or the Baby Manager. I had brought along five pictures of Baby (one above), and to my surprise, the manager pointed to the one that I thought was the weakest of the bunch. "This is the type of photo we would want," she said. "It shows his face." (Note: all the other ones showed his face, but he always had a prop -- a shark bathrobe, sunglasses, etc. Apparently this is Not Good.)

We were thanked for our time, and sent off into the wild hot yonder.

Looking back, I think that, as adorbs as my offspring is, he had some serious competition in there. "Everyone thinks they have a beautiful baby," the owner had said. "When you go to an audition, you'll see that many people have beautiful babies." (Although he might become a model just because over 70% of the babies in there were girls, yay statistical probability!)

And thus endeth our beauty adventure!

---

This post brought to you by teething! Teething: the most likely reason your previously good sleeper becomes a howling maniac at 4 am!

Have Too Many Baby Videos, Please Help

Dear readers, the 8GB in my mobile device, Mr. Shinyface, is rapidly beingg depleted due to too many baby videos. I've been backing up to iPhoto on our family computer, but I also want to show off my handsomest, most intelligent baby let interested parties know how Junior is doing.

Below is a list of the video sharing services I've tried, as well as my reasons for not liking them:

1) YouTube: Storage issues. I think everything Google is linked, and I'm getting close to reaching my storage limit there, too. Currently too cheap to buy more storage.

2) Instagram: Kept bugging me to follow people. Deleted.

3) Vimeo: Sounded like a solemn hipster wearing a fedora or a flowing sundress, possibly both at the same time. All but promised me an artisanal video sharing experience. Deleted.

4) Tumblr: Kept bugging me to follow people. Deleted.

So, really, the conclusion to draw here is I am even more antisocial online than in real life, if such a thing were possible. Is my quest doomed???

I know the simplest solution is to shell out the dough for online storage on iCloud or the Googs, but this goes against my honor as a ninja pirate. Free or bust! Walang pera, puro bayong lang!

While I agonize, here is an itty bitty video of Junior crawling (requires Flash):

I was doing my HIIT (high-intensity interval training) in our gym's yoga room while keeping a watchful eye on him. He had a blast and laughed his way through my workout.

---

Apropos of nothing, here is the breakfast I made for Fragrant Hubby in honor of Father's Day:

He earned his Father's Day -- once again, he got up at 6am to play with Junior while I slept. When I walked in on them three hours later, Junior was fast asleep on his daddy, who was blearily watching YouTube videos.

I got him a golf glove and golf shorts. He likes golf.

---

This post brought to you by blueberries, which make baby poop look almost black! The more you know.

Lesson Learned: Clear the Floor!

Yesterday started out a little earlier and much more eventful than usual, but thankfully everyone is fine. 

His favorite bathroom toy.

To wit: Fragrant Junior, who, when congested, usually hangs out on the bathroom floor playing with a tabo while one of us showers so he can be steamed like a dumpling, got his hands on a bottle of toilet bowl cleaner. His dad stepped out of the shower to the terrifying sight of Baby with blue liquid (on the floor). 

Fragrant Husband went into Dad Emergency Mode, lifted him up, and hollered for me. We both checked his breath (seemed fine), washed his hands (twice), and Hubby called Poison Control, whose number I have saved on my phone, because this is exactly why. 

Throughout all this, Baby was his usual cheery self, and my Mom-radar wasn't going off, so I concluded that he hadn't swallowed the cleaner, and instead had just indulged in his new favorite activity, which is banging things around (hence the spilled liquid).

But Dad Emergency Mode, once engaged, takes about 48 hours to wind down. "I'm taking him to the ER," Hubby announced. Faced with the unleashed elemental power of a frantic father, I ninja-packed a bottle of milk and snacks for Baby and Hubby as he strapped Baby to his stroller. Then off he drove like a maniac to the ER. 

They kept Baby under observation for a few hours, and did a test to check for blood in his esophagus (none), using spit-up Hubby had collected and saved in a tissue. (He explained it like this: "So after Baby eats, he spits up a bit because he has a nice round belly and he's always scrunching himself up and putting pressure on it.")

During the wait, Hubby learned that sodium hydroxide (as opposed to bleach) is what worries medical professionals in cases like this. He was given a list of symptoms to watch for, and he pointed out that "excessive drooling" isn't helpful because Baby is teething (one out, one erupting)--he drools buckets on the regular. Anyway, oher signs included gurgling, difficulty breathing, and vomiting. 

Sent off with a clean bill of health, Baby spent the rest of the day under the hawk-like gaze of his pater, consuming his entire ration of defrosted breastmilk and greedily demanding more, the little scamp. 

When I returned home after my shift in the coal mines, I beheld a beaming baby and a haggard dad. 

Ah, the joys of parenting. 

This post brought to you by Medela Pump in Style Advanced! I am literally pumping breastmilk while writing this post. Ah, the joys of motherhood. 

A Family Photo

This post brought to you by spring showers!

Fil-Am Baby Breakfast

What does a tiny human who sprung from the loins of two cultures consume? How does a little Am-boy (American boy) break his fast? 

With rice and Cheerios, of course!

Indeed, this combination of highly glycemic carbohydrates and, let's face it, donut-shaped cardboard, has been known to provide nutrients, calories, and pincer grip practice. In ancient days, cave husbands and cave wives fed their offspring this very combination to improve the species' chances of survival. 

Or I'm just a weirdo who throws stuff in my baby's bowl for giggles. Yeah, I think that's it. 

I'm pleased to report that Fragrant Junior has impressed The Supreme Judge (that would be Fragrant Mother/ Mamala) with his eating skills. Bonus: his aunt, Fragrant Sister, also praised his hand-eye-mouth coordination! What can I say--he's my son, of course his face-feeding skills are consistently at master level. 

That said...his sleeping still needs work. We started sleep training on Wednesday (we took turns going in every five minutes to soothe him) and on Friday, HE SLEPT FROM 8PM TO 6AM. IT WAS AMAZEBALLS. Then we must have displeased Cthulu, because the next night he went right back to his 12AM and 3AM crying jags. Blergh.

Still, it's all okay when his eyes pop open in the mornings and he beams while staring deeply into my eyes. Then he shoves his little fingers up my nose, because who knows why babies do things. 

The point is, new parents should get a year off from work to bond with their babies and to become human again. Heck, I'll take six months. But since the US is terrible about family policy, I got three months off without pay. Awriiiiiight.

TL;DR: My baby can eat rice and Cheerios with his chubby digits and also my husband and I need sleep. 

This post brought to you by grilled foods!