Junior is One Year Old!

I have three takeaways from Junior's first, rollercoaster year, but before that -- I must brag.

My son learned to walk before his first birthday.
Item 1: Regularly lifting 22 pounds every day was doing a number on my lower back.
Item 2: Junior's crawling skills had become so advanced that he could do the Cockroach Scuttle -- a lightning fast movement from Point A to Point B, designed to evade hunters.
Item 3: Junior had been cruising for a month, a precursor to actual walking.

The prep: In the three days before his birthday, I encouraged him to walk "long" distances with me, holding his hand and beaming encouragingly as he waddled three feet, his ponderous belly leading the way. He would fall, get boosted up again, waddle another three feet... you get the idea. I also took him to the park and pointed out all the other kids who could run, then helped him waddle to an area where he could cruise.

All our practice paid off. The big day came and he was all:

Just so unbearably cool and walking, NBD.

Here are some party photos. His cake was a Chocolate Birthday Cupcake from Georgetown Cupcakes on Newbury Street, because my baby deserves a $300 cupcake for his special day! Just kidding, divide that amount by 100.

Anyway, at first he had no idea what the cupcake even was, being much more interested in the bright shiny glowing thing that mommy and daddy blew out and quickly put away. Then he got a taste and his brain went "thing = delicious" and it was a choc-splosion. It got into his hair, his ears, the back of his chair (which he then licked off), and we had to take him to the tub to clean up.

That's how babies party!

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And now... my three big takeaways from having my little peanut for a whole year:

1) Baby = (Time)(Effort) - Sleep
The simplest tasks are compounded by the Baby Factor. To get out the door in the morning, I get up at the crack of dawn to nurse. Then I have to shower, dress, feed myself, feed Junior, dress Junior, and then do one last diaper check before heading out, because chances are 50/50 that he just pooped. #timing

Or, say we stay in one day. Even though he broke his fast on an entire banana and a bowl of cereal, an hour later he'll be all:

And he'll do this while I'm preparing his snacks.

I tell younger people to wait before having babies, because their size is inversely proportional to the effort it takes to keep them alive and unharmed.

Now that Junior's one and walking, Hubby and I can leave him alone with his toys for minutes at a time, it is amazing. And he's even sleeping through the night, except when he's teething, which he will do for the next year! Oh, well.

The upside, as Hubby found out when he went on a work trip up north, is that we're now able to function normally at five in the morning, which helped him with his 5 a.m.-7 p.m. work days. Engineers: working overtime since forever because we need more of them!

2) It takes a village
It's been awesome how nice and helpful strangers are. When we're at restaurants, food servers will stop and do funny faces for him when he starts getting hangry. In fact, he's very willing to be carried around by waitresses for an impromptu restaurant tour. When we're on the train, other passengers will wave at him so he can practice being polite and adorable. Passersby will open doors for us. Faced with all this extra and very welcome participation, I reciprocate as best as I can when I see other parents with their little humans. 

Single moms are fucking heroes for doing this on their own, pardon my French. There were times, especially in the early days, when I had to walk away because I don't know what I would have done in my sleep-deprived state. Those times, Dad would heroically step in. (Obviously he steps in at other times, it's just that I was the main food source for the first 12 months.)

Having a kid is draining. It's also awesome and fun and will touch you in the feelings, but tending to all the needs of a whole 'nother human takes energy, and I, being an Energy Vampire, require at least one other adult as sustenance. Yay Hubby! Yay other people!
 
3) It gets better

The journey from screaming hungry raisin goblin to smiling hungry chubby cherub is fraught with peril and delights, but the love and joy outshine everything. I mean, look at that face.

The best part: no more pumping! *intense happy dance*

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In case I'm giving off the vibe that I'm all happy-happy-motherhood, let me share this gripe: it's so annoying when other people are like, "Oooh, wait until he starts walking!" or "You can't wait for him to start talking, then you wish he'd shut up!"

I'll have you know that in my family, children are encouraged to be talkative, because tradition! My mom even expressed concern at a lack of pekpek ng baboy (pig vagina) here in the US, because in her hometown, that is what one feeds babies so they grow up to be chatterboxes! Apparently I ate a bunch of porcine unmentionables, and it totally worked!

The point is, parenting can be a blood sport, so new parents must forge Anti-Judgement Armor, and also refrain from firing Judgement Bullets. Of course, parents who shove their nostrils into the air and drawl about how little Wilder was nursed until age four, only ever eats artisanal organic kombucha (question: what is kombucha?), and didn't watch television until age five (lies!) are their very own parodies, so when you meet one, grab some popcorn and enjoy the show.

***

Unrelated: Junior tends to dance at random moments, and this is what he looks like:

Source: a commenter on Jezebel.

TL;DR: My baby turned one this month, see photos.

This post brought to you by Cerave Moisturizing Lotion! Cerave: well, my fingers haven't gotten worse, so it works?

A Family Photo

This post brought to you by spring showers!

My First Mother's Day!

To start the day, Fragrant Husband took Fragrant Junior into the other room so I could catch another couple hours of sleep. Once I shambled out of the bedroom, Hubby made French toast (my request from the day before). Over breakfast, he explained his new bacon-cooking technique, because he is the best.

Since it was gorgeous out, we took Junior out for his first swim. It was only 10am but he had already pooped twice, so we figured it would be safe to slap a cloth diaper on him (new swim diapers en route). After slathering him in sunscreen, Hubby and I took turns floating him around. He had fun, I guess? In any case, he was very fetching in his shark bathrobe.

Back in the apartment, Junior immediately passed out from the excitement. I did, too! Knowing my tendency to dawdle, Hubby tricked me by saying we had to leave for dinner at 3pm so we would have time to walk around the wharf. We ended up leaving at 3:30, as per his (accurate) calculation.

Dinner was at Legal Harborside, because I specifically said I wanted lobster. Alas, the prix fixe Mother's Day menu only had lobster soup, but that was okay! I had the "treasures of the sea" (crab claws, shrimp, oysters), the striped bass, and chocolate pudding. Hubby had the lobster soup, lamb loin, and parfait. Junior stole bread from my hand and gnawed on it for a while, then focused on trying to get all the ladies to look at him. I am not even kidding -- he was baby-yelling at women, and then beaming when they looked over. I'm so proud.

Then we walked 45 minutes back to our place. Apparently, being pushed around / carried for that long was incredibly exhausting for Junior, who pitched an epic fit when Hubby gave him his bath. Junior was so upset that he was red in the face from screaming while his whole fist was in his mouth. I then nursed him (skin-to-skin, as Hubby suggested), and he calmed down. He promptly resumed melting down when I put him in his crib. I got him calm and rolling around, then tiptoed off like a ninja.

He started screaming again very shortly after, and when I went in, he was sitting up!!! It was the first time he has sat up from a supine position, and he was overwhelmed by his amazing feat. He was babbling hysterically and yet sleepily while I marched him back and forth the room, possibly saying "ermehgerd mom did you see that i am on the precipice of crawling!!!" ...Now he's snoring away.

The day ends with a super tense episode of A Game of Thrones. My book knowledge is now almost useless. Ah well.

TL;DR: WHEEEEEEEEEE OM NOM NOM 

This post brought to you by love!

Baby's First PAX East

The Fragrant Family's first foray into the fantastic PAX East was fraught with fun. The day began with us stuffing our faces at the South Street Diner, a 24/7 spot near South Station that has the best staff. We both had the Diner Special, which consisted of three eggs, home fries, toast, corned beef hash (he had sausage), and french toast (he had pancakes). Knowing that our bellies would be safely occupied for the next six hours, we tramped through the ice to the BCEC. There was a line to get in that stretched about four blocks, so Fragrant Husband had us use the super sikrot entrance through the Westin lobby. FTW!

We met up with Hubby's nerd crew and played a board game called Betrayal at the House on the Hill, a collaborative affair--until one is revealed to be the traitor! I was all, "I hope it's me!"--and IT WAS! Yipeee!...And then I lost. Alas, I moved my cannibals too quickly, not knowing that one of the other players (Hubby, no less!) had dynamite. Grrr.

Afterwards the men played A Game of Thrones. I begged off because I wanted to buy some sweet, sweet imports for my PS Vita. So Junior and I ambled over to the video game half of the convention center, only to be stopped by an enforcer. "Sorry, no strollers past this point," he said apologetically. He explained that it was too tight, and offered to escort me to the coat check where I could presumably leave my baby in the stroller to be free to fulfill my consumerist nerd mission. Just kidding. But he did offer to take me to there. I demurred and just wandered around to a place selling STEAMPUNK HATS HELL YEAH. I did not buy one because I am more into high fantasy, but perhaps one day soon Junior shall own one. But not before he dresses up as Link, of course.

For dinner we stepped out for some food truck goodness. Also they are cheaper than the food inside the convention center. I had a Grilled Chocobo (chicken with sweet potatoes and slaw). It was amazeballs.

Soon Junior and I had to leave because it was close to his bedtime. We boarded a shuttle bus to a nearby hotel, and my precious promptly fell asleep as soon as the wheels started moving.

The best part of the experience was how easy it was to have Junior around. Hubby had cased the joint on Friday, and told me, "There are some quiet spots on the third floor." But all the action is at the Exhibit Hall spaces at the lowest level! So when teh behbeh indicated hunger, I laid him on the table, rolled up a burp cloth under his head, used a nursing cover, and he nursed away. The dudes at the table did not bat an eyelash, and they even offered to hold baby afterwards while I, er, adjusted! I tell you, these are the sweetest gentlemen. Junior's Buddha belly thanks them.

The next day, Hubby went without us (I only had a Saturday pass). He came home and proudly showed me what he bought for me: a copy of Tales of Innocence R, a darn good game--and an import I already own (my review here!). Whoops! Well, it's the thought that counts. 

Can't wait for the next PAX East! Stay tuned for Junior's costume!

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This post brought to you by mochi that contains stuff my coworker is allergic to so she gave them to me! Thank you, other people's allergies! om nom nom

Ho Ho Ho! Happy Holidays!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE FRAGRANT FAMILY!

That's totally me in the photo, yessiree!

Image credits: Corey Shuff,
http://www.superbwallpapers.com/olivia-wilde/,
and http://pokemontcgsjc.blogspot.com/

A toast to 2014, a year of firsts!

There's been a lot of terrible news this year--MH370, Ebola, Boko Haram, Ferguson, to name just a few--but I think there are also a lot of good people doing good work out there that balances it all out. Malala's still campaigning for girls' education, Obama is all "GREY HAIR, DON'T CARE", Tina and Amy are hosting the Golden Globes again, and Kosuke Fujishima finished his Oh! My Goddess (ああっ女神さまっ) series after only 26 years! Yes, it only took almost my entire lifetime for Keiichi and Belldandy to get married!

But back to the post opener...our little family got a tiny expansion this year, causing Fragrant Husband's beard to go even more salt-and-pepper. We are now parents to one of our own species, homo sapien nerdus, rather than to a pair of senior felis catus. The demands are...different.

As an older and wiser Fragrant Elephant, I can now pass on these lessons to the next generation:

1) Pregnancy is weird. Think about it. You grow another human inside you. It hiccups and bounces around in there, too. Then it you push it out--or have it cut out of you!--and it poops on you.

The upside, apart from the baby, is that you immediately bond with other women who have been through the experience. You will become part of a club of women who know. They know. We know.

2) Parenting requires special skills. Namely, the ability to plan out the intricate logistics of getting out the door with some semblance of punctuality, as well as the ability to clearly communicate to one's partner the exact steps required to achieve such a feat. To wit:

"Okay, going to a party! I'll change his diaper and put him in his new clothes while you pack up the appetizers."

"Got it. Done. Is he strapped in to his stroller now?"

"Yes, except he pooped again. Your turn to change him."

"Right. ...Finished, let's go! Wow, we're only 30 minutes behind schedule!"

"...We forgot the appetizers."

"FUUUUUUUUUUUU"

3) Choose your partner wisely. I cannot stress this enough. The right person will inspire you and help you grow, possibly horizontally, but also definitely as a person.

Step one: Know what works for you. Have standards. When I stumbled upon my now-husband, he passed my first set of criteria: he was Kind, Had a Job, and was As Smart As or Smarter Than Me.

Step two: Get to know your intended victim partner. Compatibility is key, and having similar interests helps enormously. My target owned a cat (+100 points), loved video games (+50 points), read a ton of books (+50 points), and was a great cook (+all the points).

Step three: Get to know each other's family. If all y'all can stand each other, you're golden. You'll know s/he's a keeper if a member of your family is a complete douchenozzle and your partner decides to marry you anyway.

Step four: Profit! (obligatory)

4) Sleep is precious. I just realized that I haven't slept more than 3-4 hours at a stretch since I went into labor. No wonder I can't remember things, like what is the point of this blog post.

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Oh, yes! 2014 was a global shitshow, pardon my French, but it was a good year for the Fragrant Family. I know we're lucky and I'm thankful for that.

Dear readers, my warmest, most fragrant wishes for an AWESOME 2015 for you and yours!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

This post brought to you by Junior's 1 am, 3 am, 4 am, and 6 am wake up calls! (falls over)

A Tribute to Mamala

Mamala 
noun 
1. A portmanteau of "Mama" and "Lola" (grandma)
2. The awesomest person who ever awesomed

The legend of Mamala is spoken of in hushed tones in the House of Fragrant. Her indefatigable spirit, boundless patience, and indescribable sense of humor remain the stuff of stories that we will pass on to our scion, Fragrant Infant.

The one word that defines Mamala is LOVE. She is the embodiment of this emotion, and could barely contain it within her tiny frame. We who were fortunate enough to be near her became the recipients of and witnesses to her love-power. She is basically Sailor Moon but with a lot more clothes on.

Here are the things Mamala loves, which all happen to start with the letter F:

FOOD

All the food is for her. Seriously.

"Did mom eat everything she wanted do?" my brother asked a couple of days before Mamala's departure date. It was an important question. As Fragrant Husband observed, Mamala has trained us to structure every trip around food. Her 8,400-mile journey across the ocean was no exception. She scoured the entire city of Boston for her heart's desires:

-lobster roll
-durian shake
-fancy $3 cupcakes
-diner pancakes and waffles
-dimsum

-golden kiwis
-OYSTERS, ALL THE OYSTERS
-and so much more!

Mamala loves food so much that she lingers over each meal longer than humanly possible, warping space-time itself so she can stretch out her enjoyment of whatever delicious, invariably smelly foodstuff caught her fancy.

The upside was, she cooked for us as well, which as any new mom will tell you, is grounds for nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize. Many a morning would find her cackling over a cauldron of voodoo food stew or soup, apparently for good breastfeeding. Understandably, Husband politely opted out of some of the dishes.

FALL

Mamala is all about the trees, flowering plants, and basically anything that counts photosynthesis as its primary survival trait. The first time we went to the public gardens, she rocketed from tree to tree, reading up their names and saying hello to them, I am not joking.

She about lost her mind when the leaves started to change to their fall colors, and demanded a photo shoot with her grandson. Caveat: he had to wear his Patriots helmet. He somehow managed to sleep through the entire process, so everyone came away happy.

FASHION

Well...I mean Mamala Fashion, which is all about layering every possible article of clothing because it's sixty degrees outside and she will freeze, don't you know being cold makes you catch a cold? It's just medical science.

However, she is pretty spectacular at finding designer handbags at ridiculous bargains (e.g. a $12 Tommy Hilfiger whose release into my custody I successfully negotiated). Her multiple trips to Boomerang's in Cambridge depleted her Charlie Card, totally worth it.

FAMILY

As a Certified Baby Whisperer, Mamala would take my fussy, wailing baby and have him snoozing peacefully on her chest so I could take a nap. She was so enchanted with him that she wanted to hold him as soon as she got up in the mornings, and she took joy in changing his diapers. She thought his cries of distress, which had me in near-panic in the early weeks, were adorable. She encouraged him to cry more. That's pretty special.

She also spoon-fed me pieces of her precious kiwi when I didn't have my hands free because of my little barracuda. Instead of feeling like a kid again, I felt like I was starting to understand what motherhood is all about: sacrifice, patience, generosity, and luuuuurve.

***

Best Mamala saying this trip: "We're all part of the same teamwork!"

***

Big hugs from half the world away to the best Mamala ever! I can only aspire to her levels of motherhood and Mamala-hood.

This post brought to you by a dessert that looked like chicken nuggets but tasted like Fig Newtons.