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Showing posts from March, 2015

Introducing Baby to Solids, and Other Tales of Eldritch Horror

Once, Cthulu Azathoth roamed the deep dark. Absorbing nutrients directly from his host, he needed no nourishment while in his dreamless slumber.

But lo! At last came the time of Prophecy, when Cthulu Azathoth shot out from the womb in a mighty spray of amniotic fluid. (This actually happened.) His parasitic link to his host cut...

Cthulu Azathoth HOWLED!

His heart beating with vengeance, he nursed every ninety minutes, even at night. Larger and larger he grew, disdaining the size estimates of the clothing his worshippers attempted to place upon his godlike* frame. (*like fat Buddha)

And lo, another time of Prophecy came, the one written in the blood of the innocent: "And the tyme shall be upon us, when the drippings of the chosen shall fall like unto raindrops from the sky, into the maw of the Terrible One."

Cowering, trembling, Cthulu Azathoth's worshippers committed the dastardly deeds demanded by their dark lord. With the key word "dripping" in mind, they p…

A Message for the Easter Bunny

Dear Easter Bunny:

Hail and well met!

Lady Spring has finally cast her gaze upon us (or possibly her side eye). As I write this, the sun's rays beat down strongly upon the stalwart streets and buildings of beloved Boston, a counterpoint to the freezing winds that almost knocked the stroller out of my hands as my progeny complained in his sleeping bag-like contraption.

I know you're terribly busy laying chocolate eggs and burying them in places for good children to find, but I plead to you nonetheless, knowing that your mighty ears can hear the sound of one hand clapping as a butterfly flaps its wings on a branch and causes a typhoon in the Pacific. Verily, cause and effect and chaos are as sticks to you, to be ground underfoot as you hop to your next destination.

Hear the prayers of a new mother, Easter Bunny, ye who can conceive a second litter while still pregnant with the first!

Please let our humble home in the North End be sold this spring, it is nineteen hundred square …

Discworld Shall Float Forever

And Locaha said: I am a part of you, as are all things. So I say to you, Give me the mortal world, and go and make your better one. I will rule here fairly. When a human dies, I will send them to be a dolphin until it is time for them to be born again. But when I find a creature who has striven, who has become more than the mud from which they were made, who has glorified this mean world by being a part of it, then I will open a door for them into your perfect world and they will no longer be creatures of time, for they will wear stars. (Nation, 2008)


Sir Terry Pratchett took Death's hand today. Death, as we Discworld fans know, is quite an amiable fellow, in his own way. A figment of a brilliant imagination, Discworld's Death is an unforgettable character (who also comes in rat form!)

(The quotation above isn't from the Discworld series, but Nation has everything that makes Discworld special.)

Sir Terry wove his insights about human nature into all sorts of whackiness, li…

Baby's First PAX East

The Fragrant Family's first foray into the fantastic PAX East was fraught with fun. The day began with us stuffing our faces at the South Street Diner, a 24/7 spot near South Station that has the best staff. We both had the Diner Special, which consisted of three eggs, home fries, toast, corned beef hash (he had sausage), and french toast (he had pancakes). Knowing that our bellies would be safely occupied for the next six hours, we tramped through the ice to the BCEC. There was a line to get in that stretched about four blocks, so Fragrant Husband had us use the super sikrot entrance through the Westin lobby. FTW!
We met up with Hubby's nerd crew and played a board game called Betrayal at the House on the Hill, a collaborative affair--until one is revealed to be the traitor! I was all, "I hope it's me!"--and IT WAS! Yipeee!...And then I lost. Alas, I moved my cannibals too quickly, not knowing that one of the other players (Hubby, no less!) had dynamite. Grrr.

Movie Review: Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Jupiter Ascending is what happens when a 10-year-old girl writes a screenplay and then Hollywood throws millions of dollars at her. The result is a gloriously cheesy space opera where the doe-eyed (but smart!) protagonist with an unenviable life is hurled into an adventure with a broodingly handsome and achingly lonely disgraced soldier. As he gravity-skates his way over the dead bodies of the various aliens who try to kill her, she develops feelings for him--but will her newfound true identity keep them apart?

(falls over laughing)
But let's keep it 100. Jupiter Ascending has peerless special effects, bombastic costumes and set designs, and an appropriately operatic soundtrack. The plot and dialogue are ridiculous, but boy is it a feast for the eyes and ears. And besides, its unintentional hilarity is a plus in this bleak world of ours. "Bees sense royalty," is a line that I have folded into a pocket in my heart, to be taken out and laughed at in moments of darkness. 
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