The Lie Monster

The Oatmeal challenged his readers to illustrate their lies using a free template. Click here to view his post, My Daily Lie. Basically, you draw a square that presents your lie, and below that is another square with The Lie Monster (I made that name up), which you then caption with the truth. Eager beaver that I am, I created six entries and submitted three. Let's start with the ones that didn't make it:

Skiing  
I went to school in Canada, Vermont, and Massachusetts -- places known for being 
damn cold and having damn mountains. I only ever went skiing once. I didn't like it.

Cat Lady
I've been picking up stray cats since I was a kid. My mom kept chucking them out. 
But now I am a Big Girl and I can keep my kitty!

Addicted
I wake up in the morning and think about Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Wii!).
I have it on the back of my mind at work. I play it for hours at a time on the weekends.
I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH ZOMG 

And now for the submissions! The Oatmeal told us to upload the images on a site and then post a link in the comments section. Since I can't even find mine down there, this will probably be the only time they will ever see the light of screen:

The Phone Did It
My new gig has me doing conference calls almost every week. Since I wasn't used to them, I kept dismissing the Outlook reminders -- and ended up missing a lot of conference calls in the first month. Whoops!

Just Two
I try to be good, I really do. But beer here is just so delicious...

Cat Fart
This actually happened. Hur hur hur, kitty is good for something other than petting!

In other news:

Tomorrow is the Superbowl! People are coming over to watch the New England Patriots square off against the evil nemesis, the New York Giants! My favorite player is Vince Wilfork -- nothing like 323 pounds of pure manliness to crush the dreams of others! Mwahahaha!!!

SHAZAM!