Skip to main content

The Lie Monster

The Oatmeal challenged his readers to illustrate their lies using a free template. Click here to view his post, My Daily Lie. Basically, you draw a square that presents your lie, and below that is another square with The Lie Monster (I made that name up), which you then caption with the truth. Eager beaver that I am, I created six entries and submitted three. Let's start with the ones that didn't make it:

Skiing  
I went to school in Canada, Vermont, and Massachusetts -- places known for being 
damn cold and having damn mountains. I only ever went skiing once. I didn't like it.

Cat Lady
I've been picking up stray cats since I was a kid. My mom kept chucking them out. 
But now I am a Big Girl and I can keep my kitty!

Addicted
I wake up in the morning and think about Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Wii!).
I have it on the back of my mind at work. I play it for hours at a time on the weekends.
I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH ZOMG 

And now for the submissions! The Oatmeal told us to upload the images on a site and then post a link in the comments section. Since I can't even find mine down there, this will probably be the only time they will ever see the light of screen:

The Phone Did It
My new gig has me doing conference calls almost every week. Since I wasn't used to them, I kept dismissing the Outlook reminders -- and ended up missing a lot of conference calls in the first month. Whoops!

Just Two
I try to be good, I really do. But beer here is just so delicious...

Cat Fart
This actually happened. Hur hur hur, kitty is good for something other than petting!

In other news:

Tomorrow is the Superbowl! People are coming over to watch the New England Patriots square off against the evil nemesis, the New York Giants! My favorite player is Vince Wilfork -- nothing like 323 pounds of pure manliness to crush the dreams of others! Mwahahaha!!!

SHAZAM!

Popular posts from this blog

An International Women's Day Miracle!

Truly, International Women's Day is a special day. No, not because multitudes are out there rallying for our rights and giving voice to the powerless. It is because I won a gift card from a company raffle!


Let me explain why this counts as a minor miracle. You see, I never win anything. I answer every damned survey sent my way, participate in all the raffles, buy lottery tickets -- to no avail. This particular raffle occurred monthly, and I had been faithfully entering my name every month for two years, with no results. Finally, last month, I declared: "No more!" and unsubscribed from the mailing list -- but not before entering one final time, because why not.

Hah!

There's also some déjà vu at play here. You see, four years ago, I won a gift card from a company raffle. The one fracking time I won anything! I was elated! Shortly thereafter, also on International Women's Day, I was laid off from my job.

Sooooo...since the day's almost over, I guess I'm not…

Paint Nite!

Last night I joined the "Oops" Paint Nite event hosted by the Club Cafe in Back Bay. About 12+ people came to relax and have two artists guide them through painting this original work:


The point was not to slavishly duplicate "Oops" -- we were instructed to make it our own, to relax, and not to utter the words, "Mine sucks," "Can you do this for me?" or "I thought this was paint-by-numbers!"

Speaking of dashed hopes, I had assumed that wine was included. I had done something like this before, only it was in the morning and we all got mimosas. Not so here! While the artists were setting up, I schlepped over to the bar and was rewarded with a generous pour of Cabernet. Now I was ready.

The setup: Everyone got a 16" x 20" canvas, three paint brushes, and a palette (a paper plate) with red, yellow, blue, and white paint. One artist (Brian) had the microphone and would paint with us, while the other was the assistant (Kory) who wo…

Get Out (2017)

Get Out has a charismatic lead, a terrific soundtrack, and damn good cinematography. While it’s described as horror/comedy, it’s more disturbing/cringe-y than scary, and I mean that in a good way. This is an entertaining movie that’s also pretty effective as social commentary.

The film stars Daniel Kaluuya as Chris, a photographer who’s about to spend the weekend at his girlfriend Rose’s (Allison Williams) parent’s house. Naturally, it’s in a secluded spot in the woods. When they get there, the awkwardness that might be expected from a first-time meeting gives way to a series of bizarre behaviors and interactions. While Chris initially takes it all in stride, it eventually becomes clear that there’s something sinister going on behind the scenes.

The acting and dialogue are highlights of the film, as is the camera work. In particular, Kaluuya’s eyebrows and head tilts are so expressive that the audience knows what’s going on in his head even as he politely brushes off eccentricities. A…