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Office Monkey


Slightly related: I hope I'm not wrong about my company having Casual Fridays. Otherwise... I'll have to describe my outfit as Executive Cowgirl.

I came in this morning to ghost cubicle land. The lights were off, the blinds on my sun roof were shut, and no one was in sight. Obviously, this was the perfect opportunity for me to release the office monkey / professional acrobat that stirs in my soul. Yesterday I discovered the long, thin tool that would attach to the stub on the overhead blinds, so I could turn the sucker and open the blinds. Armed with that, I grabbed a stepladder from the supply room, propped it against the side of my cubicle, and discovered to my chagrin that the opener thingie attached to the blinds was missing a little metal hook. I climbed back down and affixed a paper clip to the end of my tool. No go.

I did what any hero would do: I risked life and limb to get the job done. I clambered onto the narrow top of the cubicle, wobbled into a standing position, and manually opened the damn blinds. Now I have sweet, sweet sunlight pouring in.

Just look at that beautiful blue sky.

Kids, don't try this at home. Or in the office, for that matter. If you do, make sure absolutely no one else is around to tell you you're a moron, or help you if you come crashing down. Remember: Dignity Before Safety!*

Also slightly unrelated: I learned a new word yesterday: recidivism. It means a relapse. Today's new vocab word is oneiric, which means dream-like. It's so mysterious that Google spell check has the red underline of doom under it.

*technically, Dignity comes before Safety in the dictionary. 

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