Thursday, March 17, 2011


The Best Organization Of Boston Society (BOOBS) invites applications for a Faceless Employee. This is a full-time position with great benefits that apparently compensate for the hilariously small annual salary. This role is perfect for someone who loves abuse, passive-aggressive managers, career non-development, self-obsessed co-workers, and abuse. This position is based in Boston, unless it becomes convenient to outsource it somewhere else.

- Nod aggressively at everything the CEO says.
- Answer all e-mails as soon as you get them (optional: read and understand original e-mail first).
- Sacrifice social life to complete assignments that will never see the light of day.
- Lie.
- Destroy the dreams of at least 400 youth.

- An advanced degree in either Pure Bullshit or Gratuitous Sucking-up.
- Inability to stand up for self.
- Inability to detect hypocrisy.

*Preference will be given to candidates who are single and resigned to workplace abuse and discriminatory practices.

To apply: Have lunch/coffee with CEO and fawn over all ideas presented. Bonus points for sending a thank-you e-mail with the words "innovative," "visionary," and "distinguished" included.

We look forward to working with you!