Sunday, May 14, 2017

Happy Mother's Day! I Broke My Foot (Again)

Hello, fellow humans! It's raining today here in fair Boston, a sure sign of prosperity. Families will be crowding into restaurants all day, first the ones with small kids, then the boozy types who can stay up later (lucky!).

Meanwhile, hubby had prepared a billionaire bacon breakfast (secret mix: brown sugar, paprika, black pepper) for my special day. The open bottle of white wine in the fridge beckoned to me, but alas, we had no orange juice to mix it with. So I just had the wine, obviously.*

*I did not.

In other news, my wish to have some ~me time~ came true a couple of weeks ago. I really wanted a few days all to myself, to play video games and generally just laze around the house, perhaps do a little cooking without a small person issuing myriad, incessant demands.

I granted my own wish during my usual run, by rolling my right ankle so badly that a small piece of bone broke off my fibula. This is called a chip or avulsion fracture, and it hurts like a mother. Here is my ankle one hour post-roll:

Batman sticker courtesy of Junior

Normally I would act all tough and carry on, but it hurt so much that I immediately called hubby, who charged over to -- get this -- swing me over his shoulder and carry me out of the park. "I know this guy," I assured the children and their caregivers staring at us in horror.

We went to the ER, got an X-ray ("Put the softball on the plate," joked the radiologist), an air cast, and a prescription for oxycodone. The orthopedist's office would call us the next day for a follow-up.

Two days later, my ankle still looked awful:

So I took a couple of days off from work. ~ME TIME!!!~ Too bad I was not enjoying it. It really sucks to not have mobility, guys.

My particular fracture was like bad sprain, which takes at least two weeks to heal, based on my expertise. Trust me, I have literally painful experience with sprains. Anyway, the orthopedic doctor gave me a walking boot to stomp around in while I recovered.

Then I pondered what to do about my commute. See, I walk several blocks to drop Junior off at daycare, then proceed on foot for another mile to get to the office.

I tried a few different methods:
  • Method A: Complete the whole walk while in the boot. Result: pain. Fortunately, a coworker drove me back in the afternoon.
  • Method B: Alternate between limping on the boot and hopping around on crutches. Result: less pain, more time taken to get to destination.
  • Method C: Homemade knee scooter, see below:
My crew prepares to help

Definitely not recommended

The "knee scooter" consists of planks of hard foam duct taped together and then to my scooter. I operated it by popping my knee on the foam, using my good foot to kick, and steering while uncomfortably close to the handlebars. It was by far the fastest, least painful, and most dangerous way to get to work while in the boot, so it was my favorite. It was especially treacherous on newly waxed floors, I discovered.

At work, it was so fun to explain over and over again, to various different people, what happened and how long recovery time was, etc. etc. On the upside, everyone carried stuff and opened doors for me.


Exactly two weeks after my injury, the swelling has gone down:

Not pictured: the bruising on both sides of the foot

I can now walk around fairly normally, but running is out of the question right now. Apparently I have to start doing strengthening exercises and then go to physical therapy to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Or I could just stop running, I guess.

In conclusion, be careful what you wish for; you just might get it.


This post brought to you by Mother's Day!