Monday, February 16, 2015

Mamá Bar & Fine Dining

~ Welcome ~

Thank you for selecting Mamá as your exclusive source of nutrition. Here in this fine establishment, we pride ourselves on our flavorful array of offerings. Oui, a taste that satisfies the stomach and delights the palate is always on hand!

~ Prix Fixe Menu ~
All items charged to future mommy guilt trips.

An exhaustion-sprinkled serving of the daily special with a groggy accompaniment of, "Is it Time to Get Up Already?" by our live band.

A small serving of the daily special infused with egg, cheese, and greens on whole wheat bread flavor, with a generous heaping of exasperation as the customer wiggles maniacally.

Second Breakfast
A modest, banana-flavored serving of the daily special to fuel tummy time or other mobility-related activities.

A hearty serving of the daily special, marinated in protein and grains, with hints of trytophan in preparation for siesta.

A mid-siesta daily special snack tasting of seasonal fruit, specially formulated for reacquiring that siesta magic.

A full serving of the daily special with protein, salad, and tryptophan in equal measures.


Baby's Cocktail
Served exactly five minutes after the chef has drifted off to sleep, this daily special is a must for all growing infants.

The 1 AM
Bonus! The Papá Burping Unit will be activated following this healthy, resignation-tinged serving of the daily special.

The Witching Hour
The chef may be nearly senseless at this point, but the daily special is as delicious as ever! If all the gastronomical exertions result in a poopy diaper, the Papá Burping Unit will be reactivated with its Diaper Changing attachment.


Mamá Bar & Fine Dining
Serving the most exclusive clientele in all the land


This post brought to you by a wind chill of -24!