Movie Review: Pacific Rim (2013)

Warning: massive spoilers ahead. Avoid reading if you are planning to watch the movie, or have already watched it. 



STACKER PENTECOST
143 Fragrant Elephant Drive, Boston, MA 58008 | stacker@fragrantelephantlover.com 


Veteran military professional currently serving as Head of Hong Kong Shatterdome 
and Marshal with Pan Pacific Defence Corps (PPDC).

KEY SKILLS

Leadership
  • As commander of Jaeger fighting machines, directed campaigns that led to defeat of Category 2, 3, and 4 Kaijū. Picture below shows Russian machine, Cherno Alpha, ironically not nuclear-powered. 
  • Foresaw utter failure of all non-Jaeger war strategies, and assembled all remaining Jaeger in Hong Kong for Humanity's Last Stand.  
  • Re-recruited traumatized main protagonist back into Jaeger program using persuasive language, then overshadowed him for rest of movie via sheer charisma.
  • Loomed impressively over everyone during entire movie.
  • Declined adopted daughter's pleas to co-pilot a Jaeger, then changed mind. Was proven correct in denying her in first place when facility almost blown up during test run. 
  • Rejected overexcited scientist's proposal to mind-link with Kaijū, thereby prompting him to disobey orders and uncover critical intel about enemy.
  • Shouted down protagonist's attempts to connect at emotional level. 
  • Ensured that protagonist and adopted daughter's Jaeger had different power source from other Jaegers, for when the enemy inevitably adapted to the machines. Also made them stay behind during crucial moment so as to unleash them as surprise reserve. (Note: self was the one surprised.) 
  • Gave inspirational speech to crew before personally leading mission to destroy bridge between Earth and vaguely genitalia-like Kaijū dimension.
Combat
  • Piloted first-generation Jaeger with name reminiscent of girls dancing on top of bars: Coyote Tango.
  • Fought off Kaijū trying to eat little girl in Tokyo.
  • Personally killed Category 5 Kaijū at cost of own life.
Handsoming
  • See photo at top of CV.
  • After rescuing little Japanese girl from monster, emerged from machine while majestically backlit by sun.
  • Offered mecha world a non-androgynous physique to appreciate:



In conclusion: Pacific Rim is a fun summer movie!