Tuesday, October 2, 2012


I've held my silence long enough. The world must know the truth.

Angel is the original brooding modern vampire! Edward Cullen is nothing more than a cheap imitation! Granted, ol' Ned has rosier cheeks, sparkly skin, endless cash, and an oddly supportive family. But Angel/Angelus has that irresistible combination of broody manliness and boyish vulnerability. He wears stylish clothes and has reasonable hair. He fights free from a hell dimension just to be with Buffy! What's Edward done for Bella, huh? I mean, apart from surrendering to her demands for marriage before sex, and then giving her a black AmEx card and a new car? Pffft! I mean, just look at how Angel turned into a bad guy after he and Buffy had an adult sleepover! He even out-creeped Edward in the stalking department! Edward never left a drawing of Bella's sleeping face for her to find on her pillow in the morning! He never killed her teacher or her friend's pet! How is she supposed to know that he loves her?

Note: I'm only up to episode 6, season 3 on Buffy, so my info is incomplete, as if that would ever stop anyone on the internet.

Fun fact: In finance, a derivative is an instrument whose value is based on one or more underlying assets, thank you, Wikipedia.

(Belated) love for Angel aside, I acknowledge that even he is derivative of previous vamps. Here I present the most memorable ones:

See how impressed the Interview with the Vampire guys are? Gary Oldman's Dracula has to be the tortured vampire trope, at least in my lifetime.

So, in conclusion: vampires are so nineties, and zombies are forever. BRAAAAIIIIINNNNN!!!

This post brought to you by an Oreo mini-cupcake from Crumbs Bake Shop.