Skip to main content

Movie Review: The Bourne Legacy (2012)


Dear Mr. Jeremy Renner,

Thank you for your visit. I enjoyed pummeling you with my sweltering heat. It was truly a pleasure to cause those rivulets of sweat to run down your toned body. On an unrelated note, I hope you appreciated the skill with which my inhabitants spoke English.

My only regret was my inability to supply the tropical beauties that you, of course, automatically imagined when you heard Ms. Rachel Weisz utter, "The Philippines." I can only say that you already had a beautiful woman beside you, and that it would have been rather forward of me to include my prettiest mestizas in your film. They were all busy doing Pantene commercials, anyway.

Please consider another visit to my crowded streets. I would also love it if you told your friends in Hollywood that I am a top filming destination due to my affordability, millions of readily available extras with pan-Asian features, and the special relationship between our two countries.

I remain, as always, your loving friend.

Best wishes,
Manila

***

Now that we have that out of the way...

***

Jeremy Renner holds together The Bourne Legacy. His character, Aaron Cross, can slap around bad guys one minute and then have a pointed ethical argument against you the next. He's earnest, conscientious, friendly, and best of all, he's A Nice Guy. Kind of. Like Matt Damon, Renner is an effective everyman. He's got the Goldilocks thing going for him: he's not too handsome or fugly; he's just right. Aaron Cross is just this guy, y'know, he keeps his head low and won't kill you at all if you just leave him alone.

My movie-watching experience was a little bit jarring because the guy right beside me kept rocking with laughter whenever Jeremy Renner's character beat the crap out of someone. I mean, I laughed at the funny bits (all two of them), too, but whoa. Now I know how it feels like to be someone else sitting near me during a horror movie (I snicker during "scary" moments).

Rachel Weisz, hallelujah, was actually a useful female character, in keeping with the Bourne series. I guess this means she'll be killed within the first 15 minutes of the sequel? Oh well, at least she already has an Oscar and Golden Globe.

SUMMER IS ALMOST OVER, GUYS.

Popular posts from this blog

An International Women's Day Miracle!

Truly, International Women's Day is a special day. No, not because multitudes are out there rallying for our rights and giving voice to the powerless. It is because I won a gift card from a company raffle!


Let me explain why this counts as a minor miracle. You see, I never win anything. I answer every damned survey sent my way, participate in all the raffles, buy lottery tickets -- to no avail. This particular raffle occurred monthly, and I had been faithfully entering my name every month for two years, with no results. Finally, last month, I declared: "No more!" and unsubscribed from the mailing list -- but not before entering one final time, because why not.

Hah!

There's also some déjà vu at play here. You see, four years ago, I won a gift card from a company raffle. The one fracking time I won anything! I was elated! Shortly thereafter, also on International Women's Day, I was laid off from my job.

Sooooo...since the day's almost over, I guess I'm not…

Paint Nite!

Last night I joined the "Oops" Paint Nite event hosted by the Club Cafe in Back Bay. About 12+ people came to relax and have two artists guide them through painting this original work:


The point was not to slavishly duplicate "Oops" -- we were instructed to make it our own, to relax, and not to utter the words, "Mine sucks," "Can you do this for me?" or "I thought this was paint-by-numbers!"

Speaking of dashed hopes, I had assumed that wine was included. I had done something like this before, only it was in the morning and we all got mimosas. Not so here! While the artists were setting up, I schlepped over to the bar and was rewarded with a generous pour of Cabernet. Now I was ready.

The setup: Everyone got a 16" x 20" canvas, three paint brushes, and a palette (a paper plate) with red, yellow, blue, and white paint. One artist (Brian) had the microphone and would paint with us, while the other was the assistant (Kory) who wo…

Get Out (2017)

Get Out has a charismatic lead, a terrific soundtrack, and damn good cinematography. While it’s described as horror/comedy, it’s more disturbing/cringe-y than scary, and I mean that in a good way. This is an entertaining movie that’s also pretty effective as social commentary.

The film stars Daniel Kaluuya as Chris, a photographer who’s about to spend the weekend at his girlfriend Rose’s (Allison Williams) parent’s house. Naturally, it’s in a secluded spot in the woods. When they get there, the awkwardness that might be expected from a first-time meeting gives way to a series of bizarre behaviors and interactions. While Chris initially takes it all in stride, it eventually becomes clear that there’s something sinister going on behind the scenes.

The acting and dialogue are highlights of the film, as is the camera work. In particular, Kaluuya’s eyebrows and head tilts are so expressive that the audience knows what’s going on in his head even as he politely brushes off eccentricities. A…