Monday, June 18, 2012

Fragrant Elephant Puts On Make-up


Fragrant Elephant Puts On Make-up

Boston, Mass. -- June 18 -- Claiming to be bowing to pressure from her mother, Boyfriend, and society, obscure blogger Fragrant Elephant applied eye shadow and mascara for a recent event. Her efforts, which she modestly described as "heroic," were cheered by the committee inside her own head, who praised her effusively for not poking out her eyes even though she'd only applied eye make-up once before, possibly for some other event. The invisible committee, composed of the voices of Fragrant Elephant's mother, Boyfriend, and society, also reminded her that this was why she'd gone through Lasik: so people could be wowed by her enhanced eyelashes and limpid brown eyes.

"I told her she needed a regimen," said the blogger's proud mother. "One for during the day, and moisturizers at night. It's very important to not look like a maid." Beaming, Fragrant Mother added: "Now I'm going to send her beauty products in a balikbayan box. Heaven knows she needs them."

"I did not, at any time, tell her that she should put on make-up," said Boyfriend in controlled tones, when reached for an interview. "In fact, I distinctly told her that she should do what makes her happy." Reading from his documented conversations with Fragrant Elephant, he commented: "I can tell you that I had a 10-minute conversation with her about this very topic, and every single answer I gave to her persistent demand of whether I think she should put on make-up has been in unqualified support of her doing whatever she wants."

As of press time, Fragrant Elephant reports no traffic accidents caused by her smoky eyes, but she remains hopeful.


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