Tuesday, July 5, 2011


A comedian once joked that the people you hate are the people you'll end up with in your life. Unfortunately, that's true. Here is my tale of woe:

I was bullied as a kid. Said bully would make his friends walk in on me while I'm in the bathroom, or wipe mud from his shoes onto the book I'm reading at that very moment, or kick me off the bed during nap time, or call me ugly. Okay, fine. We all grow up and get over that.

It turns out that the bullies don't. The very pain they were trying to inflict on others stays with them, affecting them until they become unable to function normally. They become weak, in mind and in spirit.

I have the distinct displeasure of living with the very same bully whom I loathed as a child. I've had to listen to the constant whining about how hard his life is; I've kept my mouth shut when he blamed our parents for how he turned out; I've let him stay without paying a single dime toward rent.  And when I try to point out what could happen if he just tried harder, I get the "but you went to Harvard so you're set for life" speech. There are so many ways I could counter that pathetic argument that I won't even bother in this post.

AND, just to make it even lovelier, he's gross. Yesterday I came home and my apartment stank to high heaven, and it was because of cat poop (he'll feed the cat but not clean up after her) and also, he forgot to flush the toilet after taking a dump. Wow. Then after I washed the dirty dishes he thoughtfully left on the table and all across the kitchen sink, I saw that he'd somehow managed to drop a half-eaten lemon in the clothes cabinet. WTF? The last straw was this morning: I was drinking from my usual glass and there were ASHES in it. ASHES. IN THE GLASS.

So I now wake up resentful and go to bed furious. What the hell did I do to be saddled with this horrific karma? I'm not seeing the humor in this situation right now. The only realistic strategy I've come up with is becoming a one-woman SHUN team: completely ignore target until target goes away.

Arrrrggghhhhhhhh. FML, FML, FML.