A Drink for Each Elector!

Note the disproportionate number of drinks we needed to down for California. 

Our election night shenanigans occurred in Greentown Labs, a work space for energy entrepreneurs (= nerds). We honored the electoral college by providing a unique drink for each state and having shot glasses that corresponded to the number of electors there. For example, Hawaii had 4 Pina Coladas, California had 55 Cabernet Sauvignons, and Indiana had 11 Indiana Joneses. As the night wore on, we looked thirstily at Ohio, which had 18 Bloody Marys on offer. We attacked near midnight, and boy was it worth the wait! In fact, it easily rivaled the tastiness of my first drink of the night: a White Russian courtesy of Alaska. Props to the drink mixer.

Husband-elect had the time of his life. He wandered around, beer in hand as a chaser, and talked to everyone. At one point, he attempted to wrest control of the microphone from the organizer. He eventually succeeded when said organizer got so hammered that he went off to flirt with his girlfriend; at least, I think they were together. Anyway, Husband-elect seized the mic and made a toast:

"Thanks to [name redacted] for putting this all together! Here's to everyone who works really hard! Here's to everyone who supports start-ups!"

Here, here! We drank to that, and then C and I prowled around to see if there were any leftovers. The burgers, dogs, and chips had been devoured by the civic-minded crowd hours ago, but luckily someone had ordered out and didn't like the refried beans and rice they got. Score! I also gobbled down a hamburger so burnt that it blended right into the black plate. Clearly, this ninja burger had been saving itself for me. No untoward gastric aftereffects so far.

We cheered mightily when CNN announced the winner, laughed at Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's live antics, and then trooped out into the bitter cold. Husband-elect kept saying, "I'm so drunk, I'm so drunk," which I'm pretty sure means he was really drunk. Men are so mysterious.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to detoxify my liver for 2016.

Electionerd: The First Ladies

Today's Electionerd is brought to you by the mainstream media quoting men on women's issues! Men: women without the wo(e)!

Speaking of, here's a primer on the lovely ladies who are campaigning for their husbands to take/remain on the Seat of Ultimate Power in November:

Your ad here!
Full name	Ann Lois Romney	Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama
Hometown	Bloomfield Hills, Michigan	Chicago, Illinois
Occupation	Housewife	First Lady of the United States (former VP for Community & External Affairs at University of Chicago Hospitals)
Years Married	43	20
Number of Offspring	5 (Taggart, Matthew, Joshua, Benjamin, Craig)	2 (Malia, Sasha)
Number of Grandchildren	18	0
Championing	Better opportunities for urban youths	Ending childhood obesity
Personal Health Issue	Multiple sclerosis; breast cancer (now cancer-free)	Brain might be too big
Best Feature	Stepford smile	See picture ^
Likes Dogs?	May prefer horses	Yes
Likely to be Played by	Amy Poehler	Oprah

Thank you to Wikipedia for the factoids above, the ones I didn't make up, I mean. Wikipedia: contributing to the information overload since 2001.

In the latest Fragrant Elephant comics, grouchy Oscar becomes happy! Click here to find out why! 

Electionerd: Intro

This mint, collectible first edition of ELECTIONERD is brought to you by caffeine! Caffeine: it might be why you're bloated!

As background, I was perusing the BBC during my tea and crumpets break when I happened upon this pretty little interactive graphic about the upcoming US presidential election. I was adding up the numbers whilst clicking on my mouse with my pinky finger daintily raised, when suddenly I exceeded "10" and as you know, the next number is "lots." So I laboriously transferred the information to that old standby, Excel. Excel: it's how people know you don't mess around.

So, to review: you need 270 votes to become President of Google Apple Facebook the US. The Republicans can rely on 185 votes, the Democrats have 186, and there are 161 votes floating around that pledge allegiance to neither party. Those battleground states will be fought over like they're the roast beef sandwiches at the company picnic, while the rest of us are the grapes: you can come back for us later after all the roast beef sammiches are gone, or wrathfully eat us if you didn't get as much beef as you needed.

I'm looking forward to when The Daily Show and Colbert Report ramp up their election coverage. Indecision 2008 was spectacular! And who can forget Tina Fey's turn as Sarah Palin?

Next on Electionerd: We poll ordinary citizens for their choices of Romney's running mate!