Cat Alarm

Cat Love: Mommy vs Daddy

How to Twist Words

I like to play Word-Twist with Boyfriend. No, not the Boggle rip-off. I refer to the game where your opponent thinks you're having a perfectly normal conversation, and then you sneak in a response that is near-hysterical, bitterly acrimonious, or just plain loopy. As an example:

Him: I like it when you talk.

Me: Oh, you think I talk too much?

See what I did there? I seized the verb, twisted the context of the sentence, and spat out something eye-bulgingly wrong. Here's another gem:

Him: Let me help you with that.

Me: Why? You think I can't do it?

Unwarranted defensiveness adds spice to every tête-à-tête! Mais oui!

But as much as I am genetically and environmentally advantaged when it comes to being crazy, there are others who are so good at Word-Twist that they can plant a lie seed, water it with further untruths, fertilize it with embellishments, and prune it into shape with the sharpened bones of fallen enemies when it becomes a full-grown lie bush.

...Wait, WTF? Dammit, I really thought I had something good going when I started that metaphor. Oh, well.

Anyway, I refer to he who in my previous comic is depicted as a smog monster. He responded to this article, which detailed the reasons for his dismissal from a major organization (hint: if they tell you not to work on a personal project during office hours, don't send 5,900+ emails about the project using your work account during office hours), with a website announcement about how awesome he and his project is and how they were sooooo wrong back at his old office. To give credit where credit is due, the response is only 30% boilerplate fundraising language. But what percentage is poop from a bull? The newspaper attempts to address that question with this article.

Oh, the drama! The words, they fly like glinting ninja stars through the heated air of the night!

(Note to self: STOP WITH THE PURPLE PROSE FOR PITY'S SAKE.)

Dear readers, I encourage you to think about Word-Twist as you go about your pure, innocent lives. Ponder the motivation behind a half-truth or a bald-faced lie. Consider the consequences of corrupting the intention behind a phrase. Imagine the radioactive power of sweet promises turned into decayed hope. And then practice on a loved one! MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA

Just kidding. Be nice, kids.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

The Vicious Cycle

Today's comic is inspired by this article.

BLOG CHANGE: Whilst noodling around to find a template that would allow me to post the above image in its full, glorious 900 px size, I accidentally changed the whole blog layout. In the immortal words of Rick Perry: "Whoops."

Anyway, there are little whatsis on the right that you just hover your mouse over and it'll have the About section, the Archive, and some RSS thingiebob. This is Dynamic View, so you can use the upper left pull-down menu to change the layout of the entire blog if you want. I recommend the Sidebar view. If you're insulted that I'm explaining something so basic, that's because this entire paragraph is for my mom.

More comics soon!

Update, 05/25/2012: Changed my blog back to the Simple template. Boyfriend was relieved.

Movie Review: Hunger Games (2012)

I have seen the Hunger Games and I loved it.

As a refresher, I wrote about the book last year, having been alerted to its awesomeness by Crispy of Cambridge. I liked it like cake, so I went ahead and finished the rest of the trilogy. Book two, Catching Fire, was also great; whereas reading the last book, Mockingjay, was like biting into a delicious fried chicken and finding out that it was still bleeding. You feel slightly ill but finish it anyway, dismissing possible damage to your body because you and this chicken have faced so much together and only one of you can complete the journey to your stomach and it's gonna be the damned raw chicken.

What was I saying? Oh, yes, the Hunger Games trilogy -- well, two out of three ain't bad. (Said the person who has never written a novel.)

The movie is an excellent adaptation of the first book. Set design: District 12 is appropriately gloomy, the Capitol perfectly garish, and the arena suitably death trap-y. Casting: JLaw, as Katniss, is brilliant, so all is forgiven for not casting Saoirse Ronan as the poster girl of many an aspiring archer. Oh, let's face it, I would watch this movie for Stanley Tucci's blue hair and Wes Bentley's evil facial hair alone. Oh, and Elizabeth Banks as Effie and Woody Harrelson as Haymitch? Lo-o-o-o-vely!!! But the main reason I would volunteer for the Hunger Games, of course, is to be caught helpessly between Peeta and Gale. By the way, a middle-aged woman was wearing a "Team Peeta" shirt at the 10 am showing today. How dare she, and where do I get that shirt.

Only a few details are altered or left out -- the source of the mockingjay pin, the captured rebels, Katniss' cutthroat 'tude under her rich internal monologue of angst -- but crucial scenes between President Snow and Seneca Crane are created that makes sense for the movie.

I won't spoil it further, except to urge y'all to watch it. I secretly wept a couple of times, despite Boyfriend stage-whispering, "TRAP!" every thirty seconds when the Games started. If you read the book, you know exactly which scenes I'm talking about. Wah.

Also: vision is now 20/20. 

YAY LASIK!

Before I Go Blind

Dear readers, today is Lasik day. In the unlikely event that I make it but my eyeballs don't, you may look forward to two more comics -- one about, what else, our cats; and another one about the infamous Boat to Happyland, inspired by a recent news article. Both works of dazzling art are safely stored in C:\Documents and Setting\users\Queen of the Universe\awesome\super awesome\ultra mega super awesome\i like cake\2012\march\do not open\why did you open. 

Haha, just kidding, I use a Mac so they're in... Finder. Somewhere. And here is how you make Finder show you the full directory path.

So, in conclusion:  YAY LASIK!

Starts with "Cat"