Game Review: Suikoden (PS Vita)

Welcome to THROWBACK THURSDAY! Today’s topic is Suikoden, an RPG classic originally released for the PlayStation One in 1995. It’s now available for download on the PlayStation Store. Thanks to the success of the first title, there are now five games in the Suikoden main series, plus offshoots for portable consoles.

Suikoden follows Tir McDohl, a general’s son who becomes leader of the anti-emperor Liberation Army despite being, like, twelve.

My review below:

Combat/Gameplay: 9/10
Suikoden 1 has all the features of a classic RPG: an in-town map, dozens of NPCs, treasure chests in highly unlikely locations, a large overworld, and a traditional turn-based battle system. The game can be divided into three sections: 1) Tir becomes leader of the Liberation Army, 2) the Liberation Army growths in strength and influence, and 3) the Liberation Army marches against the final bastions of the empire’s power. The game encourages a linear progression through the storyline, with space for recruitment side quests opening up toward the end of the first section/beginning of the second.

The ultimate goal of the game is to recruit all 108 “Stars of Destiny,” who are basically sprites with character portraits who can be used in battle or perform a function in your castle, such as blacksmithing or selling items. The more Stars you have, the bigger your army, which helps with the army battle sequences. These sequences are a welcome change from the typical monster encounter—they involve a rock-paper-scissors system that requires foreknowledge and strategy. For example, first I send my ninjas or thieves into the opposing forces to suss out their attack plan. If they’re going to charge, I counter with magic. A bow attack will fall to a charge, and magic gets beat by bows.

My only issue here is that there’s no explanation for any of this, so I would have bungled my first battles by knowing nothing had I not checked gaming boards for advice. Same with the one-on-one duels, where you have the choice to attack, defend, or launch a desperate attack. I was always like, “Which one defeats what again?” LOL JUST KIDDING I ALWAYS ATTACK BECAUSE I’M AGGRESSIVE LIKE THAT, JUST ASK MY HUSBAND.

Anyway, on the plus side, moving around the in-game world is fast and easy, especially once you acquire the Holy Crystal (to dash), the Blinking Mirror (to teleport), and the world map. It only took 21 hours to finish this game. In RPGs, anything under 40 hours is wicked short.

Soundtrack: 7/10
There are some nice pieces, like town themes, but overall the soundtrack was pretty underwhelming. I give it a 7 instead of a 6 because of Crystale, a character who lets you change the sound settings. I chose “Animal” for a while, tickled at the meow whenever I confirmed something. That got old fast.

Story/Characters: 8/10
My failure to collect recruit all 108 people is literally the fault of a hardware glitch. See, at one point, I had just defeated one of the Five Generals. My PS Vita then warned me that my battery was low. Since I usually play until the thing dies on me, I went ahead and engaged my defeated foe in conversation, as one does. But for some reason the X button got stuck, so when my entourage asked me if I should execute him, it automatically selected the first option (yes) instead of the second option (no), which my goody-two-shoes nature would have chosen. “No big deal,” I thought at the time, since the game had been giving me false choices up to this point (i.e. my dialogue decisions did not affect gameplay). Only later did I find out that the dude was, in fact, a character who needed to be spared to be recruited and complete the collection and thereby have the glowing satisfaction of achieving the perfect ending. ARRRRRGH.

Am I going to replay the game to get him the next time around? Hah. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Anyway, I got over 100 folks into my castle, and they all have their own backstories and I'm told I will see some again in the next Suikoden games, so it's all good!

Minus points for Leknaat the Seer advising my character that fate is not set in stone (or something like that), contradicting later statements that Tir was born under the Star of Destiny, ergo destined to lead the Liberation Army to topple the emperor. However, she may have been hinting at the sikrot resurrection of a dead character. Who knows. In any case, it's disappointing that the game is so on rails that Tir never has a chance against fate.

Villain: 9/10
In this aspect, the effectiveness of this game is not how villainous or successful the Big Bad is, but rather how intrigued I am at what happened before, and what happens next. What is the real deal with [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]? Why so sangry (sad and angry)?

Also, the final boss ended up not being a total douche, and the death (I’m assuming) scene is pretty touching. I will always root for villains who are sympathetic and/or successful, and in this, Suikoden gets a thumbs-up from me.

Visuals: 8/10

I mean, I guess the graphics are okay for the time period and the gaming system. There are very impressive flourishes by human-looking sprites, like when they draw swords or hug. It’s cute on the Vita’s little screen. Then again, this was released on the same system that gave the world Final Fantasy VII, so Suikoden can’t compare to that 3D glory.

Overall, good visuals, generic NPC designs, nice character portraits, and the monsters are cool, especially the bigger ones like Sun King. The final boss looked great! roar

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TL;DR: An entertaining classic that creates anticipation for the next installment! Recommended if you’re a JRPG fan!

This post brought to you by Trader Joe’s Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate, which is not delicious when taken black! You have been warned!

Game Review: Tales of Xillia (PS3)

True to all games in the Tales series, Tales of Xillia is light snack of an RPG that distinguishes itself with its ridiculously fun, over-the-top combat system; strong female lead; and mandatory plot twists, one of which is genuinely surprising.

Without further ado, here is the Fragrant Elephant review:

Story: 7 out of 10
The theme of human technology versus the natural world is the whoopee cushion that Tales of Xillia will repeatedly slap across players' faces. In this game, humans have "mana lobes" that allow them to summon spirits to cast artes (magic) such as lighting street lamps, building large structures, sailing ships, etc. Meanwhile, "spyrixes" are high-tech inventions that are typically made for offensive purposes (e.g. giant guns)...and they kill spirits to boot. Spyrixes are B-A-D.

The story gets plus points for feminism because Milla is the main driver of the plot (although, as she herself says, the concept of gender technically doesn't apply to her). Everything in Tales of Xillia centers upon Milla's mission of eliminating spyrixes to maintain the balance between humans and spirits. Because Shinto.

Jude tags along after their obligatory meet-cute moment, and along the way they gather a group of bland do-gooders. Together they go against a king who built a giant spyrix for war...and then things get confusing, especially if you play Milla's story first. Things eventually get explained, so never fear! Long story short: HUMAN TECHNOLOGY BAD, SPIRITS GOOD.

Characters: 7 out of 10
Milla has the best personality and dialogue, in my opinion. Her voice actor nails the flat, brusque, I-am-Lord-of-the-Spirits-get-out-of-my-way tone. Milla is blunt, no-nonsense, and completely mission-focused. She's calculating, too, and even admitted that she chose her extremely attractive human form because of its "effect on men--half the human population." (Milla, darling...only half? Tsk, tsk, heteronormative standards.) She can be a heartless bastard who would leave a child behind to complete her quest, which is why Jude is a good counterbalance. He's super earnest and if he were a food item, he'd be a Twinkie -- one bite, instant diabetes! Plus he has daddy issues blah blah blah. But Jude is inoffensive, and a kickass fighter, so he's okay.

Possibly the most interesting character is Alvin because of his constant inner conflict. He's shady but charming, and lies easily. Players can never be sure what he'll do next -- he tends to disappear for stretches of time, and has a glib answer for everything. Later on, he has the most realistic reactions to the situations the heroes find themselves in, especially at the end. His voice actor's good.

Cutest character award goes to Elize, the young girl with impossibly strong magic due to human experimentation. She has the most tragic backstory, but good gods, she levels up like a beast. In my second playthrough, all of my characters were leveled up in the mid-80s...and Elize was level 94. I have no idea how that happened. I think Teepo, her stuffed "doll," steals EXP? This kid is killer, yo.

The worst female character is Leia, Jude's childhood friend. Like Jude, she's great in combat and a healer to boot, but her only defining traits are her crush on Jude and her clumsiness. Some depth in her personality is revealed only though subquests, meaning the non-obsessive gamers will miss out on her motivation for pursuing nursing. Also, her headband is an eyesore:

Fortunately, I was able to cover up this atrocity with a ten-gallon hat on my second playthrough.

The worst male character is Rowen, who sucks at combat because he moves at a glacial pace. His only redeeming qualities are his fabulous manners and hilarious contributions to the mini-skits that flesh out the characters throughout the game.

All in all, a mix of cool and blah characters, headlined by a main character who's pretty unique.

Combat: 9 out of 10
This would get a 10 if only it were real-time combat. Instead, players run into enemies and a jagged "X" appears, then you go into the combat screen. Battles seem to be utter chaos, but the tutorials in the first playthrough will teach players all the awesome moves that each characters gets to do. Every character has his or her own set of basic moves and special skills.

The innovation in Tales of Xillia is linking, where two characters can pair up, perform combos, and provide support. For example, playing as Milla and linking with Jude will get you healer support. Playing as Leia and linking with Elize means an endless supply of TP, because Elize will use Teepo to steal TP from foes and transfer it to you. And so on. It's fun!

Kudos also for having the Golden Mage Knight, the toughest boss in the game. It's optional and only accessible in the second playthrough, but man what a challenge! Dude kicked my ass the first time. I had to resort to GameFAQs message boards to figure out the best strategy for victory.

My only beef with the combat system is the Lillium Orbs, which are thingies that you can enhance when you gain levels. From the main menu, you go into the Lillium Orb option and choose which stats to boost. But there's an auto-level option, so players have no incentive to know what exactly they're leveling up. Suggestion for improvement: have an option to auto-level automatically at every level increase. Because I'm too lazy to press three buttons, okay???

Item and Subquest Insanity: 9 out of 10
Tales of Xillia has a metric ton of items and subquests. Completist gamers will be pleased at the consideration given for their obsessive natures. The game has typical fare: food items that boost stats or increase EXP, weapons, armor, accessories, and assorted consumables. The difference here is that players have to level up the shops, usually by donating materials dropped by monsters, or money if you have enough cash. In typical RPGs, shops in new towns have better products. Not so here! You have to earn those upgrades! It's a neat feature, and makes grinding worth it.

As for subquests, there are the usual: bring someone a dish, defeat brigands or monsters, find a lost relative or animal, retrieve a rare item, etc. They're fun and add to the gameplay, but the way subquests are updated in the Events List is terrible. Because of the sheer number of events and subquests in the game, you will have to scroll down a loooong list of descriptions and hope you find one with the "Updated!" sign on it before the sign goes away because you'd accidentally zoomed past it. This is only an issue for players who care, and as it happens I care very much and also I wasn't paying attention to the dialogue so I have no idea what just happened. Mea culpa.

My favorite subquest is The Devil's Arms. That's where you have to fight six beasts with weapons growing out of their bodies, and you get the weapons when you win! They pimp out further after defeating the incredibly tough Golden Mage Knight, who apparently helped make them. Whatever, they have cool names. ("Tregatoria, the Bellowing Demon" -- possibly the true name of Fragrant Husband's cat, Oscar.)

Replayability Score: 9 out of 10
Players can choose between two playthroughs: that of Milla Maxwell, the tall, blonde, and busty Lord of Spirits; or Jude Mathis, the quick thinking medical student with, naturally, hand-to-hand combat training. I played both. There are differences in some of the FMVs of each main protagonist, and I think playing twice is worth it. Milla's is less character-driven because Milla = mission, mission, mission. She doesn't care about individual humans. By contrast, Jude's path has resolutions for all the other playable characters, and it makes his adoration for Milla even more blindingly obvious. The romance subtext pays off in the end, and not in a cheesy way.

The ending is the same for Milla's and Jude's playthroughs. But! -- if you wait after the credits roll, which you will because you want that New Game +, Milla has a separate ending and Jude gets his own. They're both bittersweet and I shall spoil them no further.

Final Score: 41 out of 50. Heck yeah! It's a rollicking good time with a strange diety and her human tag-alongs. Bring the popcorn; those cut scenes are long! And if anyone figures out why the game is called Tales of Xillia, let me know!

This post brought to you by an açaí bowl. Açaí bowl: instant crunchy, just add granola!

Game Review: Ys: Memories of Celceta (PS Vita)

According to Hardcore Gaming 101's intimidatingly detailed descriptions, Ys: Memories of Celceta is actually a remake of a 1993 PC game. Both contain similar story elements and characters, but obviously, the Vita version is much prettier to look at and has pimp sound.

As with all Ys games, the lead is Adol Christin, whose red hair is so unusual that pink-haired and blue-haired people remark upon it. Adol also happens to be a very talented swordsman, so even though the events of Memories of Celceta occur when he's a mere stripling of 18, players will have no problem dispatching various malformed creatures that drop gold and valuable materials when they die. As a bonus, sometimes their defeated corpses remain on the ground for you to pummel further for MOAR STUFF. Because RPG.

The game has an interesting introduction: Adol is seen wandering tiredly in a town before he passes out. It turns out he's lost his memories, and the last thing he did before becoming an amnesiac was go into the Great Forest. "No one has ever come out of there alive," solemnly intone many an NPC (non-playable character). Or maybe Duren said that. Duren is a handsome, burly man who appears out of nowhere claiming to be Adol's acquaintance. He also happens to have a sword with him, which he gives to Adol when monsters appear in the nearby mines (because RPG).

The refreshingly competent Governor General Griselda, seeing all the heroics and correctly identifying herself as a plot contributor, urges Adol to map the Great Forest. Adol thinks it will help him get his memory back, and Duren just wants to spend time with Adol. Other characters join, too, and Adol discovers more than he imagined! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN.

Now here's a graded review of the game based on its components:

Gameplay: 9 out 10. Controls are simple and intuitive and all the basic RPG elements are present.

Sound: 9 out of 10. Falcom Sound Team jdk delivers once again. There are exuberant drums, frenetic electric guitar, and mad keyboards for energetic moments such as running through a field of monsters. Quieter moments get lovely piano pieces. Whatever the music is, it's sympatico with the events on the screen.

Combat: 9.5 out of 10. Give me real-time combat any day. It eliminates the loading time of turn-based encounters, plus the chaos is much closer to actual battle situations. Ys: Memories of Celceta also features Flash Move, which means evading at exactly the right time. Doing it successfully means the enemy slows down, so players who practice their hand-eye coordination are rewarded. Extremely useful during boss battles. Finally, tapping an enemy on the Vita screen reveals its stats, and saves it in your records for later perusing.

Graphics: 9 out of 10. My only quibble is the player's inability to control the camera angles, but this is probably because the development team wants you to experience the majestic vistas in the background in a more organic way. Despite being pre-rendered, the vision of a distant lakeside village while you scramble up a mountain, or the tantalizingly close ruins of a temple as you try to escape a swamp, are wonderful and enhance the fantasy elements.

Creature design: 7.5 out of 10. A lot of the monsters have different versions of essentially the same design, which is damn lazy. Three types of rock-throwing apes? Really? Meanwhile, the villains are drawn with so little imagination that they practically have their role stamped on their foreheads.

Character design: 9 out of 10. The heroes look great! The outfits are colorful and not terribly outrageous. There's gender equality in the representation of belly buttons and bare skin, the equal number of male and female playable characters, and in the fact that the highest military officer in the game is a woman. Plus, kudos to the designers for making Adol a realistically scrawny teenager, and to the writers for having any number of NPCs essentially tell him, "You are tiny!" He is.

Voice acting: 2.5 out of 10. The battle cries and little phrases whenever you switch characters ("My turn!") are fine. But the women sound awful, unless the squeaking of hamsters is music to your ears. Let us cease speaking of this travesty.

Story: 6.5 out of 10. Memories of Celceta starts out with an intriguing premise: the protagonist has already been in an adventure, and your job is to help him piece it all back together. The structure seemed promising: it starts at the end, and you must find the beginning and the middle, and then move forward to create a new ending. Alas, all players will find is a checked-off list of standard RPG tropes, such as:

• Person with hidden agenda
• Distrustful villagers
• Villagers needing rescue
• Cleavage villainess
• Damsel in distress, preferably blonde
• White-haired evil guy
• Giant robots
• Ancient kingdom that mysteriously vanished
• Human agency versus destiny
• Someone with wings
• A sentient tree
• Bodyguard crush, sort of

It's disappointing, especially given the superior storyline of its predecessor, Ys Seven. I think the difference is that Seven kept it simple, with only one major and well done twist, whereas Memories of Celceta threw in an extra "twist" and failed to adequately develop both.

[SPOILER AREA]
Seriously, pick one! It's either you'e fighting the benevolent god of causality who experiences doubts and becomes tragically corrupted, or the spiteful leader of a group of exiled magic users who seek revenge.
[END SPOILER AREA]

Anyway, the game's final score is 77.5%. If you turn down the voice FX, it's fast, fun, and has good replay value. Recommended for JRPG fans!

***

For other gamers, here is my Ys: Memories of Celceta FAQ/Walkthrough on GameFAQs! I had originally written just a subquest guide, but GameFAQs rejected it because it was "unreasonably small." Le sigh. Since I am used to rejection thanks to my current job and my previous writing contest entries, I batted one eyelash and produced a full guide. So there!

This post brought to you by calamansi juice. Calamansi juice: apparently it's used as a poison antidote in Malaysia!

Game Review: Final Fantasy II (iPhone)

Final Fantasy II is a 1988 NES game that Square Enix in its infinite wisdom ported onto the iPhone for nerds like me to squee over. The second installment of the ironically-named video game series departs from the leveling up system of typical RPGs, introduces a protagonist with a semblance of backstory, and features gorgeous artwork from Yoshitaka Amano. I mean, who wouldn't immediately volunteer to fight for a princess who looked like this:

Her headgear alone is enough to make me swear fealty. Although on the tiny screen, the scene where the player's group initially meets Princess Hilda actually looks like this:

Awwww, 16-bit graphics are so cute. Now imagine kids today staring blankly at you because they have no idea what bits are. You're old.

Back to the subject at hand! FFII is ridiculously easy, except when it isn't. Until you get the ring that lets you view the world map, you'll probably do what I did, which is wander around and get ridiculously over-leveled until giving up and going to gamefaqs.com for a quick peek at a walkthrough.

Now I did say that FFII has a different leveling system. Basically, players don't get experience points and level up all their stats. Instead, surviving battles whilst using specific weapons, spells, and/or shields will increase the level of those instruments, as well as your agility, strength, intelligence, spirit -- whatever innate ability is involved with spell casting or weapon-swinging. So a savvy player can max out an axe or a Cure spell easily! It's fun.

By the final dungeon, I had pimped out my main character with a Blood Sword (absorbs enemies' HP) and Holy Lance; my lady-friend whacked allies with a Healing Staff and protected herself with a crazy-strong shield, when she wasn't blasting enemies with Fire, Ultima, or Scourge; my bruiser was just wailing on everything with an axe and a dagger that did extra damage; and... hmmm, I know there was like a guest character, I forget which, but I armed him to the teeth, too.

There are so many spells, weapons, armor, shields, and all sorts of items that just beg to be sold so you can afford a stay at an inn. See, in FFII, you're charged according to how much HP and MP recovery you need. I would usually pay over 1,000 bucks just to get some rest. I worked my team very hard, mostly because I got lost a lot. Like I said, the game is easy except when it isn't.

Right, here's the story: the emperor of Palamecia killed a bunch of countries and Princess Hilda went into hiding in a little village. Four youths from the same town escaped but, as the game starts, they get ambushed, and only three make it to the princess. They volunteer to join her rebel army so they can look for their friend, and essentially go on a ton of fetch quests. "Get me some mythril!" leads inevitably to freeing prisoners in mines, and then of course one needs a McGuffin to destroy the enemy dreadnought, and after that one simply must find an airship, then grab a Wyvern egg, then uncover an ultimate spell, et cetera, et cetera. Also, there's a "twist" that I saw coming from literally the first minute of the game, but I'm sure it made eighties gamers go, "Oooooh!" Anyway, overall 'twas most diverting.

The music is pretty ill, too -- melodies that hint at grand adventures and heroic struggles. I was listening to the main theme on repeat when I got bored and switched to Ghost in the Shell's "Making of a Cyborg." Everyone repeat after me: "A gaaaaaaa, maebaaaaaaa, kuwashime yoini keri! A gaaaaaa, maebaaaaa teru tsuki, toyomu nari!"

FFII is a nice little game to download if you're in a nostalgic mood. Its gameplay may be uneven and its characters not very developed, but sometimes, you just have to go out there and save the world.

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This post brought to you by water. I am so hungry...

Game Review: Zero no Kiseki Evolution (PS Vita) - updated

From left: Zeit the wolf, Randy the redhead, Elie the fancy,
Kea the tykebomb, Lloyd the leader, Tio the teen, and Sergei the boss.
And yes, I'm aware the sign reads Ao no Kiseki. I like this pic, okay?

Eiyuu Densetsu: Zero no Kiseki Evolution (Legend of Heroes: Zero Trails Evolution) takes players to a world with an unseen goddess, shadowy groups, geopolitical intrigues, straight and overturned stereotypes, and explosive new technologies. Zero no Kiseki continues from the Sora no Kiseki (Trails in the Sky) games, which introduced “orbment” technology, composed of quartz forged from sepith (mineral) fragments. High-tech advancements include cars, cell phones, planes, guns, and trains, all with an elegant retro/steam punk design. 

In Zero no Kiseki, the latest in orbment tech becomes key as players take on the role of Lloyd Bannings, who leads a team of rookie police officers tasked with maintaining order and upholding the law in Crossbell City. The city is the capital of Crossbell, an independent state located between the Erebonian Empire and the Calvard Republic, who both want to conquer their smaller neighbor. 

Early in the game, the mafia moves into the city and stirs up trouble with local gangs. Lloyd and the other members of the Special Support Services (SSS) begin investigating reports of fights, mysterious attacks, missing people, and underground auctions. They eventually realize that something monumental is afoot. Perhaps it's somehow connected to the death of Lloyd's elder brother three years ago? (Hint: yes.)

Zero no Kiseki Evolution takes over 60 hours to finish for the completist gamer. While the game advances through plot-centric requests, there are sidequests to complete, random cut scenes to watch, recipes to collect, dishes to cook, fish to catch, furniture to buy, and even a cat to feed! All these optional events take as much time as leveling up and figuring out which character has the best stats for equipment and Arts (magic). The great part is, they're fun, and they improve your chances of having easier boss fights. 

Actually, the voice acting added for the Vita also extends play time. All the seiyuu (voice actors) do a great job, even Estelle's -- I initially cringed when I heard her archetypal genki-girl voice, but she grew on me. If you're into Japanese immersion, then soak in everything this game has to say. And it has over 60 hours of sweet Japanese nothings to whisper into your ear. And by "nothings" I mean "police terms such as investigation, criminal, and infiltrate."

Having said that, Zero no Kiseki is a blast because it continues in the combat system tradition of the Eiyuu Densetsu series. Your characters can to choose to fight, or run away from, enemies visible on the field map. So instead of random encounters when you're hurrying to another location, you could just rush past all the assorted monsters bent on your demise. By the same token, rather than running around like a busy person, you could crash into every single enemy you see in a way that lets you have turn priority when you start the battle. Thanks to this type of combat, ordinary enemies are usually a breeze. A few bosses will be tough, but having things too easy would be boring.

Zero no Kiseki also boasts a complex plot. I'll avoid spoilers here, but let me just say that the ending leads to more questions than answers. Hopefully, the sequel to the game, Ao no Kiseki, will resolve the threads left to dangle in Zero. Playing the Sora no Kiseki games, which take place a few years before Zero, would also be useful, but not necessary to enjoy Zero no Kiseki.

Finally, Zero no Kiseki continues the feminist overtones present throughout the entire Legend of Heroes series. In Sora no Kiseki FC and SC, Estelle, the main character, transforms convincingly over the course of the games from a lazy and forgetful girl to a determined young woman. Her stats are decent, too, and what a relief to not have her be a staff chick specializing in magic. She's a physical fighter, not quite on par with the specially-trained Joshua, but certainly his match when it comes to sheer grit and refusal to surrender. Her motivations propel the plot of both games.

In other Legend of Heroes games, if the boy is a main character, he must be accompanied by a girl. This is the case for The White Witch and Song of the Ocean. The only exception is A Tear of Vermillion, where the kidnapping of a female character drives the movements of the main character. That one's more of a bromance.

The Trails/Kiseki series takes gender equality to a new level with male characters who challenge heteronormative stereotypes. Olivier, the handsome, gun-toting "bard," flirts outrageously with Joshua and any pretty person who catches his eye, whatever their gender happens to be. In Zero no Kiseki, the handler for the Bracer Guild is Michel, a man who loves pink and speaks like a woman. See, in Japanese, your social status determines your hanashikata (way of speaking). For example, refined women add "wa" to the end of sentences, hooligan boys say a lot of, "Butseketeyaru!", a higher up will use the non-formal when speaking to subordinates, and so on. But Michel, sweet, redhaired Michel, fooled me into thinking he was a girl, because you really can't tell with the 3D sprites, and all I had to go on was his speech pattern. Then, when a kid asks him why he talks like a girl, and everyone else tries to shut the kid up, Michel laughs and says something to the effect of: "You know how you're wearing clothes that suit you? I speak in the way that suits me." Flame on, Michel, flame on!

As for the music, it hummed quietly along in the background, adding to the atmosphere. The battle tracks and revelation pieces worked very well. My only complaint is that there's one arrangement when you're in Crossbell City that makes it sound like you're in a porno. Saxophone much?

All in all, Falcom did a great job with the additional features of this former PC game. I could jump through a couple of hoops to get Ao no Kiseki on the Japanese Playstation Network, but I think I'll wait and see if an enterprising Amazon seller can get in an import. If not, I'll figure my away around getting my paws on another Eiyuu Densetsu game, because they're reliably fun without being stupid, deep without being convoluted, touching without being cheesy, and funny without being annoying. In short, the games in the series consistently strike a good balance, so thank you, Falcom. Until next time.

Anata wo mitsuketemiseru.

If I've convinced you to play, let me also help you finish the game! Here is my walkthrough on GameFAQs: http://www.gamefaqs.com/vita/644812-eiyuu-densetsu-zero-no-kiseki-evolution/faqs. I post FAQs and reviews on that site as Fragrant Elephant. GameFAQs forums have helped me when I was stuck in some games, so this is how I give back. Power to the gamers!!!

Game Review: Star Ocean: The Last Hope (XBox)

Star Ocean: The Last Hope is the latest installment of the Star Ocean RPG series from Japan. The Last Hope is actually a prequel to the three other games that came before. It begins with WWIII, and how the ruined Earth prompted humanity to look toward space -- the "star ocean." With the secret help of a race of aliens called the Eldarians, Earthlings develop the hyperspace technology necessary to launch space ships to the farthest reaches of the galaxy.

The main characters in the story, Edge Maverick and Reimi Saionji, are crew members on one of the ships assigned to find a suitable planet for human relocation. As the fleet of ships prepares to launch from the moon base, famous hero Commander Kenny calls the two "Seeds of Hope" in his head. Since Edge is 20 and Reimi is 19, and they're somehow part of a mission where the future of humanity hangs in the balance, that's pretty much a dead giveaway that they're genetically altered to be superior to the rest of humanity.

After this entirely plausible opening scenario that will suck about thirty minutes of your life, The Last Hope's story rapidly goes into a nosedive. First, there's a scene involving giant insects with electromagnetic shields that deflect the crew's guns. So Edge has to fight with a sword and Reimi has to use a bow and arrows for the rest of the game. I think I got whiplash from shaking my head in disgust. Basically, the team landed on a planet judged inhabitable for Earthlings, with conditions similar to a dinosaur era on Earth, and the hostile insects evolved a defense against exactly the kind of high-tech weapons the crew carried? I can't even stop my eye roll right now. Then the writers compound the stupidity by claiming in the in-game manual that Edge has such great reflexes that he would be a poor gunman -- apparently, he's so fast that he'll shoot at where the enemy will be, instead of where it is. Groan.

Soon, a young Eldarian named Faize joins Edge and Reimi. Faize invented a small aircraft called the Sol that can flit easily within a planet and also well outside the planet's atmosphere. Faize, genius alien, fights with a rapier. Double groan. Fortunately, he has Symbology (magic), which is always useful. The trio continue the mission of finding an appropriate planet and meet a young girl named Lymle, who had the potential to be mega-annoying but is only marginally so. I can overlook the foibles of a character with powerful Symbology.

Anyway, eventually the group realizes that something much bigger is afoot in the universe, and off they go on a couple more planets. Along the way, they meet an engineer from an ancient alien race with a self-appointed mission of safeguarding space. Unlike Fiancé, this engineer has zero personality and is completely useless in battle. Reimi can fire off three shots in the time it takes him to launch a beam from his arm. Next, they meet Meracle, who is -- of course -- a scantily clad cat girl. Then they rescue/recruit one of the Featherfolk, Sarah Jerand, who clearly has the brains of a bird, how fitting. Good thing her AI heals the group like a boss. Next up is the impossibly busty Myuria, whose...assets...also include strong magic and playful disdain for all the other characters. Plus, she steals MP from enemies! Beautiful, agile, strong offensive magic, decent healing magic, and can self-supply MP? That's my favorite character right there. Finally, angry Eldarian Arumat joins up, and I mistakenly leveled him up as my secondary Tank without realizing that Meracle had higher attack stats, and she's faster, too. That'll teach me to judge based on appearances.

The cast of characters, combined with the excellent combat system, make The Last Hope super fun. After all, variety is the spice of life. Getting a new character is always a pleasure because all of them have different fighting styles and hilarious battle cries. The graphics during battle are superb. The characters make incredible leaps and dodges and swipes. The Special Attacks help you pwn any enemy in no time flat, especially if you do a Chain Combo. You can also go into Rush Mode if you get hit or strike the enemy enough times, and then your character glows white and goes berserk. It's all very satisfying. Also, it seems Myuria can only cast a spell while posing like she's on the cover of Maxim. I love it, I love it.

Apart from the awesome fighting, The Last Hope continues the franchise's Item Creation, a gameplay element that rewards the obsessive gamer. You can create any item if you have the recipe and the needed materials. Every shop you visit has a list of delivery orders that you can fulfill to gain EXP and money. Naturally, a lot of the items they want must be created, and there must be much fighting, mining, and foraging before Item Creation. I would have wasted away playing this game when I was a teenager. Fortunately, as an adult, I have my priorities in order. I knew that I had to finish this game as soon as possible so I can move on to the next game. (That would be Eiyuu Densetsu: Zero no Kiseki Evolution.)

Anyway, if I had to rank this game, the story would get a 3 out of 10. The writers thought that the characters clearly having a boner for Edge equals character development. They were wrong. Many events were improbable, even for a sci-fi/fantasy game. The cut scenes were unnecessarily long. One cut scene took almost an hour. It also peed all over science. Ugh. The writer(s) of The Last Hope needed to care more. Meanwhile, the music is a solid 8 out of 10. Motoi Sakuraba of Valkyrie Profile fame composed the soundtrack, and he's an old hand at operatic games. I especially enjoyed the mournful theme of Lemuris. The graphics get a 6 out of 10. The palette on the world map made everything look flat. Finally, the combat system is a 9 out of 10 for being fast-paced and fairly challenging. Yay battles!

In conclusion: The Last Hope is a serviceable entry into the Star Ocean series. It will please hardcore RPGers with its traditional story, strong combat system, and clever Item Creation aspect. The character designs will likely creep out or annoy Western RPGers, which is always a bonus.

If you want to try this game, I advise you to skip the cut scenes. Then you can cut out 40% of the time it takes to play this game! And you can go and frolic outside! Frolic, I say! FROLIC!

This review brought to you by too many sugary holiday treats.

Game Review/Nerd Alert: Xenoblade Gushing (Wii)

Xenoblade Chronicles is the greatest game I've played since Chrono Trigger. It's got four main things going for it: (one!) an expansive, beautiful world; (two!) epic music; (three!) a mind-blowing story; and (four!) compelling characters.

Let's start with one:

"You and me can totally take that giant in the sky. Whaddya say?" 

The game has about a dozen locations, with plenty of standouts like Gaur Plain (pictured above), Makna Forest, Eryth Sea, and Satorl Marsh. The developers weave these impressive locations into the gameplay, and reward observant players who like to wander off the beaten path. I happily explored everywhere, and in this way, accidentally stumbled upon secret areas that would later become crucial to sidequests.

The amazing music sets the mood as you move through the world of Xenoblade. For example, Gaur Plain has a rhythmic, toe-tapping number to accompany your characters' free ranging. At night, ether adds an ethereal glow to the otherwise icky Satorl Marsh, and the music shifts to a choir-and-keyboard arrangement that floats as gently as the marsh lights. Eryth Sea, home to the isolated High Entia race, has a melancholy sound. When it comes to boss battles, there's a piece called "You Will Know Our Names" that captures the fury and defiance of the characters, in their initial encounter against an unbeatable foe. In every instance, the music is in step with what's happening on the screen.

Xenoblade starts off with an epic story -- two gods, the Bionis and the Mechonis (whose silhouette is seen in the picture above), battled, and eventually, each struck blows against the other that froze both titans into place. Then on the bodies of both gods sprang the races: the Bionis gave birth to pioneering Homs (humans), entrepreneurial Nopon (fluffy balls with legs), and the aloof High Entia (angels, except their wings grow out of their heads).  At the game's start, players are introduced to the Mechonis species: the Mechon, soulless machines intent on eliminating all life on Bionis.

To the experienced RPG gamer, this is all pretty cliché -- e.g. the Bionis vs. Mechonis is clearly an allegory for humanity's anxiety over technological advances -- but the plot later develops genuinely surprising twists. For instance, what starts out as a roaring rampage of revenge -- humans swearing to smash the machines that destroyed their loved ones and homes -- becomes a realization of the fundamental similarities between biological life and mechanical beings. Another example would be the shocking link between genetics and divine will.

I haven't finished the game, and I'll write up a review on GameFAQs with more about this, but I'm at the point where my characters have journeyed all the way to the body of the sleeping Mechonis, only to find out that the Bionis, their creator, views them simply as an energy source and is intent on wiping them out. Take note that the two gods are basically planets, and the Bionis had just destroyed the Mechonis, so if we destroy our planet who wants to kill us, where do we live? Um. Paging SpaceX, paging SpaceX, please report to your nearest titan at your earliest convenience.

Sharla, the undisputed leader
of the Crushing Boobs team.

Which brings us to awesome factor number four: the characters. To the developers' credit, I care about my characters because it's so much fun to mix-and-match dream teams with varying strengths (e.g. I have a Crushing Boobs team, a Sausage Tank team, a Cuteness Overload team, a One-Hit Kill team, etc.), and also because of their engaging stories and backgrounds. There are tons of hints that some of your characters aren't really what they seem. The main character, Shulk, is orphaned when his parents died in an altar to the Bionis' sword -- how did he survive? Melia, the half-human, uptight crown princess of the High Entia, is informed by a machine that her "80% Homs gene integration" is a very good thing. What does that mean? Why does rejected J-Pop band member Alvis seem to be helping us, but not really? 

Well, I have an answer to one question above, at least. I'm 116 hours into this game, and I'm having a blast. I can't wait for the conclusion, since I hear the ending is super fabulous, but I'm also content to keep exploring, fighting, discovering, hunting, having mini-heart attacks during cut scenes, and squealing during the sweet heart-to-heart character conversations. And maybe, just maybe, I'll play the game again and take note of the egregious license they took with the translation. Like, "Konna ni samui no wa hajimete da!" which I'd have translated to, "I've never been anywhere this cold before!" Instead, MonolithSoft went with, "I could really go for one of Dickson's homebrews right now!" It conveys the same point: it's butt-cold, but the resulting characterization becomes different. See? See? Also, why are my characters not yet gay despite my best efforts? MOAR GAY.

To end on a silly note, here are tributes to my favorite Xenoblade characters:

DUNBAN

MELIA

RIKI

SHULK

Happy Friday!!!