Skip to main content

Junior: 2nd Annual Report

Junior celebrated his second year quite recently, to the disbelief of strangers who have experienced his lengthy speeches about different types of trucks, speeches delivered at extreme close range, high volume, and with much spittle. In this report, I will briefly describe his many accomplishments to date, and propose areas for further exploration and development.

For a recap, Junior's first annual report is here.

1. Language Skills: Excellent
Junior's vocabulary building continues apace. He is capable of having vague conversations about items he has seen, such as trucks, trees, birds, trucks, insects, food, trucks, and also trucks. He can deliver multisyllabic phrases such as "Happy anniversary!" with love and sincerity. He recognizes superheroes and is keenly interested in Spider-man, possibly because he is attracted to the color red. In the photo below, he is modeling his Batman pajamas from his dear Auntie H. "That's Batman!" he replied, when asked to identify himself.

He can count to 20 in English (skipping 12 for some reason), to 10 in Tagalog, and is known to launch impromptu concerts in public with such hit singles as "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "Row Row Row Your Boat." 

In terms of further language growth, he has begun to show an interest in written letters and numbers. His biggest issue is his Tagalog, which lags behind his English. We have invested in TFC (The Filipino Channel) for background language immersion and will update the Board of any observed gains.

2. Looks: Excellent

Junior continues to slay with his cuteness. His skin is baby-perfect, his hair is fabulous, and he takes good care of his teeth. Case in point: when he feels plaque, he alerts us and then stays still for flossing. According to our on-call expert*, his superhuman eyelashes are his best feature.


Junior also understands the importance of moisturizing, so he likes a dab of lotion and lip balm whenever mommy's having any. The longest lip balm has stayed on his lips before being licked off is 0.1s.

Because he has inherited much of his physical appearance from his father, Junior has a monobrow waiting to happen. Preliminary investigations reveal that the earliest one can wax a child is age nine. However, the Fragrant Household will have this discussion whenever Junior feels the need to bring it up, which we estimate will be around ages 13-16.

3. Temperament: Very Good
Junior is frequently pleasant and often camera-ready, as in the photo below:
However, since he is now in his Terrible Twos, there are times when he melts down when denied something desired. For example, when another child is riding a toy bulldozer in the playground, Junior will wail piteously at the top of his lungs, jump up and down to express his agony, and roll around on the ground just in case anyone doubts the excruciating pain he is undergoing at having to wait his turn. We are using the DIBS tactic -- Distract, Ignore, Bribe, and/or Shush -- to counter these tantrums. We are optimistic that Junior's inherent cheerfulness will eventually help us all surmount this trying period.

4. Appetite and Growth: Excellent
Junior requires, nay, demands full adult-size portions of fruits and grains. He consumes appropriate amounts of meat and vegetables, and is given sweets as a rare treat. 
He currently wears size 3T clothing and US 8 shoes (ahem ahem Christmas gifts). His latest growth spurt -- and resulting ravenous eating habits -- have resulted in noticeably fuller cheeks and a rounder stomach, which only serves to enhance #2 above.

We anticipate a steady progression of Junior's appetite and growth and have no issues to highlight for this report.

5. Sleep: Very Good
Junior's present sleeping habits are much improved from his first year. Two changes stand out: 1) his naps can now go up to three hours, and 2) he can sleep in as late as 7:00 AM.
Unfortunately, he still wakes up in the middle of the night and cries unceasingly for either mom or dad. We speculate that a stuffed truck might be able to comfort him during these times, and will be looking into this possible solution.

Junior's language skills, looks, appetite, and growth are all excellent. Meanwhile, his temperament has been downgraded to very good due to occasional tantrums. Finally, his sleep has improved to the very good level due to longer naps and sleep times.

Overall, Junior has progressed in a highly satisfactory manner, and we hope the Board agrees that showering him with love, affection, and gifts is fair recompense for all his hard yet seemingly effortless work.

We thank you again for supporting Junior and look forward to communicating his continuing excellence in our next reports.

Fragrant Elephant
Supreme Commander, Empress, Guardian of the Baby Gate, Keeper of the Chronicles, Mommy McBragface

Popular posts from this blog

An International Women's Day Miracle!

Truly, International Women's Day is a special day. No, not because multitudes are out there rallying for our rights and giving voice to the powerless. It is because I won a gift card from a company raffle!

Let me explain why this counts as a minor miracle. You see, I never win anything. I answer every damned survey sent my way, participate in all the raffles, buy lottery tickets -- to no avail. This particular raffle occurred monthly, and I had been faithfully entering my name every month for two years, with no results. Finally, last month, I declared: "No more!" and unsubscribed from the mailing list -- but not before entering one final time, because why not.


There's also some déjà vu at play here. You see, four years ago, I won a gift card from a company raffle. The one fracking time I won anything! I was elated! Shortly thereafter, also on International Women's Day, I was laid off from my job.

Sooooo...since the day's almost over, I guess I'm not…

Paint Nite!

Last night I joined the "Oops" Paint Nite event hosted by the Club Cafe in Back Bay. About 12+ people came to relax and have two artists guide them through painting this original work:

The point was not to slavishly duplicate "Oops" -- we were instructed to make it our own, to relax, and not to utter the words, "Mine sucks," "Can you do this for me?" or "I thought this was paint-by-numbers!"

Speaking of dashed hopes, I had assumed that wine was included. I had done something like this before, only it was in the morning and we all got mimosas. Not so here! While the artists were setting up, I schlepped over to the bar and was rewarded with a generous pour of Cabernet. Now I was ready.

The setup: Everyone got a 16" x 20" canvas, three paint brushes, and a palette (a paper plate) with red, yellow, blue, and white paint. One artist (Brian) had the microphone and would paint with us, while the other was the assistant (Kory) who wo…

Get Out (2017)

Get Out has a charismatic lead, a terrific soundtrack, and damn good cinematography. While it’s described as horror/comedy, it’s more disturbing/cringe-y than scary, and I mean that in a good way. This is an entertaining movie that’s also pretty effective as social commentary.

The film stars Daniel Kaluuya as Chris, a photographer who’s about to spend the weekend at his girlfriend Rose’s (Allison Williams) parent’s house. Naturally, it’s in a secluded spot in the woods. When they get there, the awkwardness that might be expected from a first-time meeting gives way to a series of bizarre behaviors and interactions. While Chris initially takes it all in stride, it eventually becomes clear that there’s something sinister going on behind the scenes.

The acting and dialogue are highlights of the film, as is the camera work. In particular, Kaluuya’s eyebrows and head tilts are so expressive that the audience knows what’s going on in his head even as he politely brushes off eccentricities. A…