Thursday, August 25, 2016

Goodbye, Baller Life

Last week we moved to a new place. And in doing so, we said goodbye to the building where Junior spent his entire life, not to mention the many luxuries it afforded:

1) The View

We had floor-to-ceiling windows facing south that offered magnificent glimpses of the South End all the way to the Blue Hills, sunrises, sunsets, and, crucially, traffic jams on I-93. Whenever I saw angry traffic lights lined up on the highway, I would text Hubby a warning so he could take an alternate route home from work.

Bonus: we were in sight of the Tufts Medical Center helipad, and Junior was very excited to see helicopters landing and taking off practically every other day.

2) The Pool

While only open in the summer, the roof deck pool was awesome. Here is where I got my exercise while Junior lived rent-free in my uterus, and here is where he learned to enjoy "jumping" into the water with his new life vest. I put that in quotation marks because Junior is (thankfully) cautious around water and his idea of jumping is falling over into my arms from a sitting position on the side of the pool. Safety first!

3) The Gym 

The gym had all the requisite equipment -- treadmills, bikes, weights, rowing machines, etc. -- but Junior and I spent most of our time in the yoga room tucked in the back. It had padded floors so Junior could fall on his face all he wanted; a bar; exercise balls; mats; blocks; resistance bands; Bosu; basically, everything you could possibly need in your pursuit of your sexiest self.

Of course, kids under 18 aren't supposed to be in the gym, but I drew a distinction between the gym proper and the yoga room, where absolutely no one was grunting and slamming down weights on the floors. We also never went in if someone else was already in the yoga room, opting instead to play corn holes on the roof deck.

4) The Freebies

In the above picture, management randomly decided to set up an ice cream bar one night as a Resident Appreciation gesture. This is in addition to our monthly all-building social events with free food and drinks, various workout/retail offers, and charity projects.

And did I mention that there are bowls of fruit at the front desk so you can grab something healthy on your way out the door? #yesplease


An excellent question. You see, while the building is fabulous and the staff super excellent, the neighborhood is dirty, smelly, and loud. Nary a day goes by without at least one wailing ambulance, angry honking, drunken yelling, street corner drug deal, and all the less awesome offerings of the vibrant city.

The sidewalks smell like dog pee, because some dog owners are too lazy to walk their pooch ONE BLOCK to the Boston Common.

Plus, a new resident who moved across from us kept smoking pot in his unit, so much so that we could smell it in ours. Management had to step in many times.


With the stoicism for which I am famed, dear reader. Also, a keen awareness of global events such as earthquakes, bombings, floodings, shootings, and other terribleness helped me keep things in perspective.


In the Batcave.


TL;DR: We moved.


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