Sunday, February 9, 2014

Being "That Girl"

We all know That Girl. She walks in and we're all like, "Oh/Ugh, it's That Girl." That Girl comes in different varieties, depending on the setting. She is an object of delight, dismay, contempt, or murderous hatred. I know this because I have been That Girl. If you have ovaries, it's quite possible you have, too!

Here is a fond/cringing look back at the That Girl that I have seen and/or been:

1. At the Club

That Girl who takes her shirt off. In my defense, I was switching from a Luigi costume to a Mario costume. It was for art.

That Girl in an entire group of composed of That Girl: loud, sloshing with liquid courage, and out of control. Will get hit on throughout the night.

That Girl who swoops in like an eagle to rescue you from a dude who keeps following you around. Bonus if she is a Trini.

That Girl who you came in with, teleported around the dance floor all night, then barfed in your car when you gave her a ride home. Also known as Hot Mess.

That Girl who doesn't drink. Whuuuuuut?

2. In the Office

That Girl who apparently thinks her job is to deliver office gossip.

That Girl who informs you she is very smart, and yet cannot complete this sentence: "Hat is to head as glove is to ______." True story, my hand on your choice of ancient mythological literature.

That Girl who will not respond to any of your courtesies, such as "Good morning" or "Hi." Also known as Raging Bitch on Wheels.

That Girl who proudly displays pictures of her cat. Also known as Awesome.

That Girl who solves all your basic-level IT problems. You're welcome.

That Girl who has given up and is just watching videos or reading e-books on her computer all day.

That Girl who is an amazing cook/baker and brings goodies to the office. Also known as Yay!

That Girl who says she can't get along with other women because they're "too girly." Also known as Batshit Crazy

3. At the Restaurant

That Girl whose boyfriend disappears to the bathroom whenever the check comes out.

That Girl who tells you that waitressing is hard and then leaves a crappy tip. Also known as WTF.

That Girl who is allergic to pretty much everything on planet Earth.

That Girl who insists on going out to karaoke afterwards. And do.

4. At Home

That Girl whose bedroom floor could probably be used to explore new topics in quantum mechanics.

That Girl who is in the bathroom for ungodly amounts of time.

That Girl with all the fancy hair and skin care products.

That Girl who's never home.

That Girl who's always home.


There are more flavors of That Girl, but you get the gist.

The point is, now that I'm a woman (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA), I can take the lessons learned from being/seeing That Girl to drive my husband crazy during strategic moments make good choices. And right now, I choose to continue playing Tales of Xillia.

This post brought to you by Aunt Jemima's pancakes. Pro tip: slip a piece of cheese in between two pancakes to create a delicious and unique sandwich!

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