Skip to main content

Stop Taking Multivitamins!

I stopped taking multivitamins around the time I transitioned to Whole Paycheck Foods for my grocery shopping. Previously, I was a religious pill-popper, taking my handy compacted supplements every day at breakfast time. Then, one day, as I was fussily oscillating between a $25 bottle versus a $14 one of Whole Food Women's One Daily Multivitamin, something inside me threw up its hands and said: MEH.

From that day forth, I got my vitamins and minerals from actual foods. I transferred my adoration to Michelle Obama and went to myplate.gov to see what I should put in my face. After a thorough, two-second review of the entire site, I created my very own daily plate usually consisting of the following :



...You get the idea. And yes, I drink beer daily, doncherknow it's a requirement for Boston residents?

Anyhooters, science has finally vindicated my bold lifestyle move of completely replacing daily supplements with a tasty combination of water, yeast, malt, and hops! This article describes three new studies that have experts abuzz with tsk-tsk sounds for multivitamin believers. Since 'tis the season for giving, I shall handily summarize the studies for you:

Study 1:
n = 6,000 males over age 65
t = 12 years
Method: Battery of tests every few years to check memory function
Findings: No difference between control group and focus group
Caveat: 9% decreased risk of cataracts, 8% reduced risk of cancer compared to placebo group

Study 2:
n = 1,700 heart attack survivors
t = 55 months
Method: Daily regimen of high doses of vitamins and minerals or placebo pills
Findings: Pill fatigue; no difference in deaths, second heart attacks, strokes, or serious chest pain

Study 3:
n = 27 studies on vitamin and mineral supplements with over 450,000 people
t = Probably a long time, like the attention span of a Baby Boomer
Method: Research review by U.S. Preventive Services Task Force
Findings: No evidence that supplements offer benefits for heart disease or can delay death from any cause; minimal benefit for cancer risk

AHA! AHA! I win because science!!!!

"But Fragrant Elephant," you protest, "the study populations have statistically significant health baselines from a vibrant young pachyderm such as yourself!"

To which I respond--First of all, you just made up the term "health baselines," because you have no idea what that means.

Second, why am I talking to myself? The snow swirling outside my window must be responsible for my extra helpings of silliness.

This post brought to you by IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS VACATION AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Popular posts from this blog

An International Women's Day Miracle!

Truly, International Women's Day is a special day. No, not because multitudes are out there rallying for our rights and giving voice to the powerless. It is because I won a gift card from a company raffle!


Let me explain why this counts as a minor miracle. You see, I never win anything. I answer every damned survey sent my way, participate in all the raffles, buy lottery tickets -- to no avail. This particular raffle occurred monthly, and I had been faithfully entering my name every month for two years, with no results. Finally, last month, I declared: "No more!" and unsubscribed from the mailing list -- but not before entering one final time, because why not.

Hah!

There's also some déjà vu at play here. You see, four years ago, I won a gift card from a company raffle. The one fracking time I won anything! I was elated! Shortly thereafter, also on International Women's Day, I was laid off from my job.

Sooooo...since the day's almost over, I guess I'm not…

Paint Nite!

Last night I joined the "Oops" Paint Nite event hosted by the Club Cafe in Back Bay. About 12+ people came to relax and have two artists guide them through painting this original work:


The point was not to slavishly duplicate "Oops" -- we were instructed to make it our own, to relax, and not to utter the words, "Mine sucks," "Can you do this for me?" or "I thought this was paint-by-numbers!"

Speaking of dashed hopes, I had assumed that wine was included. I had done something like this before, only it was in the morning and we all got mimosas. Not so here! While the artists were setting up, I schlepped over to the bar and was rewarded with a generous pour of Cabernet. Now I was ready.

The setup: Everyone got a 16" x 20" canvas, three paint brushes, and a palette (a paper plate) with red, yellow, blue, and white paint. One artist (Brian) had the microphone and would paint with us, while the other was the assistant (Kory) who wo…

Get Out (2017)

Get Out has a charismatic lead, a terrific soundtrack, and damn good cinematography. While it’s described as horror/comedy, it’s more disturbing/cringe-y than scary, and I mean that in a good way. This is an entertaining movie that’s also pretty effective as social commentary.

The film stars Daniel Kaluuya as Chris, a photographer who’s about to spend the weekend at his girlfriend Rose’s (Allison Williams) parent’s house. Naturally, it’s in a secluded spot in the woods. When they get there, the awkwardness that might be expected from a first-time meeting gives way to a series of bizarre behaviors and interactions. While Chris initially takes it all in stride, it eventually becomes clear that there’s something sinister going on behind the scenes.

The acting and dialogue are highlights of the film, as is the camera work. In particular, Kaluuya’s eyebrows and head tilts are so expressive that the audience knows what’s going on in his head even as he politely brushes off eccentricities. A…