iOS 7 Review

The iOS7 requires 3.1GB of free space on the phone and takes about 20-30 minutes to download and set up. Once I finished reluctantly deleting photos of my kitty, I beheld the wonders of Apple's shiny new software product:

From left to right: the home screen with redesigned app icons, the swipe-down notification center, and, finally, the crème de la crème of this glorious upgrade: the swipe-up single-push controls. I nearly peed myself with excitement at this latter discovery. This handy new shortcut eliminates the tedious, multi-tap process of going to Settings, then hitting Airplane Mode, or WiFi, or Bluetooth, or Display. Yes, instead of two taps (Settings, then "On" for most of these apps), Apple has changed the way I interact with my device -- now I do one swipe, then one tap! And it's prettier to look at!

Seriously, this OS is sexy. It's fast, functional, and pleasing to the eye. The swipe-up feature lets me easily get to the flashlight (to pinpont my cat's location in the dark so I may capture her before she caterwauls in my ear), the clock (to set my alarm every morning), the calculator (crucial when dining out with a group), and the camera.

Speaking of the camera, it is now tricked out with swipe controls for orientation, and there are filters built in, accessible via the bubbles in the bottom right of the screen. I predict ever more "art" shots on Instagram, which is a thing that exists, or so I have heard.

In short, this is a spiffy upgrade. It's the bee's knees. It's rad, hip, and possibly even righteous. In the parlance of my generation, it's epic. Awesome. Pimp. I like it a lot. While I am not moved to purchase an iPhone 5S or a 5C, I will know that they are beautiful on in the inside, where it matters.

Well done, Apple. (slow clap)