Thursday, August 15, 2013

A Post-Consumerist World?

As a thought exercise, I started wondering what would happen if every consumer in, say, the United States shared my values and preferences. Here are my conclusions:

I. Things That Will Exponentially Increase in Number Due to Demand 
Cats (mixed)
Studio Ghibli movies
Puppies (mixed)
Ninja and miko costumes
Banana Republic
Popcorn and hot dogs
Curry dishes
Belgian beer
TempurPedic beds
Pacific Coast pillows
Snarky feminist writers
Good horror movies
Kathryn Bigelow (to be cloned immediately)

II. Things That Will Disappear Due to Lack of Demand 
Fast food chains, except Taco Bell (c.f. Demolition Man)
Bottled water
Energy drinks
Pet breeders
Dollar stores
Haute couture
Country music
Overproduced pop singles
Multivitamins and probiotic supplements
Ice cream and pizza

III. Anticipated Outcomes
  1. Cats will become the main alternative to the soft power items that would disappear in this scenario.
  2. Many Americans would lose weight, thus decreasing health care costs on a national scale.
  3. Children's birthday parties will feature beer and hot dogs, as nature intended.
  4. We will learn to speak pidgin Japanese.
  5. A radical fringe group bent on restoring ice cream and pizzas will amass weapons from abroad, form a militia, and storm the capital screaming, "GIVE US BACK OUR DELICIOUS FATS!!!"
IV. (Drops Mic)
It's lunch time, gotta go. 

Movie Review: Hereditary (2018)