Skip to main content

Where Is My Relax

On my last day at the office, during snack and coloring time, I am not kidding, two coworkers revealed that when they got laid off, it was "the best time" of their lives. They just relaxed and eventually found new jobs. I felt relieved when I heard that. I prepared to also enjoy my unexpected stay-cation.

Except I've mostly been cleaning, doing wedding planning, running errands, and then cleaning some more. Fiancé seems to think I spend my days playing Ni no Kuni. I wish.

Why do I clean so much? Well, I had a troubled childhood, so ordering my surroundings is my way of creating a sense of control over my own circumstances as an adult. Just kidding. I'm actually a superhero and organizing everything is my superpower.

But honestly, this is awesome. I no longer have to drag my unconscious self out of bed so that I can stuff myself into a ladies' monkey suit and march toward a building to spend eight hours in a six by six cubicle staring into a nineteen-inch monitor. Instead, I have a leisurely breakfast with my betrothed, and then plop down on a comfy couch and look for someone to pay me to do stuff. Or I track RSVPs and pick out songs for the nuptials. Showers occur when I have an upcoming face-to-face interview, or have to interact with other humans who do not intend to enter into a lifetime commitment with me.

On a side note, why why why are interviewers always late? Is it fashionable now?

My days are made brighter by a sweet little spot of furry sunshine, who bellow-meows to get my attention and then gives me pointed looks that say, "It's nap time and I need you. As a bed." I often have Sheba on my lap as I type, although that tends to backfire when she rests her head on my forearm and prevents me from reaching the keyboard.

So I guess, in answer to the question, "Where is my relax?" -- it's right here, right now. These are my softly glowing days of hope, promise, and comfort.

Tune in for the inevitable followup post: "Where is My Paycheck," wherein we all know that the answer is, "No job, no paycheck!"

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to talk to a person about a thing at a place. Phone interviews yeahhhhh

Popular posts from this blog

An International Women's Day Miracle!

Truly, International Women's Day is a special day. No, not because multitudes are out there rallying for our rights and giving voice to the powerless. It is because I won a gift card from a company raffle!

Let me explain why this counts as a minor miracle. You see, I never win anything. I answer every damned survey sent my way, participate in all the raffles, buy lottery tickets -- to no avail. This particular raffle occurred monthly, and I had been faithfully entering my name every month for two years, with no results. Finally, last month, I declared: "No more!" and unsubscribed from the mailing list -- but not before entering one final time, because why not.


There's also some déjà vu at play here. You see, four years ago, I won a gift card from a company raffle. The one fracking time I won anything! I was elated! Shortly thereafter, also on International Women's Day, I was laid off from my job.

Sooooo...since the day's almost over, I guess I'm not…

Get Out (2017)

Get Out has a charismatic lead, a terrific soundtrack, and damn good cinematography. While it’s described as horror/comedy, it’s more disturbing/cringe-y than scary, and I mean that in a good way. This is an entertaining movie that’s also pretty effective as social commentary.

The film stars Daniel Kaluuya as Chris, a photographer who’s about to spend the weekend at his girlfriend Rose’s (Allison Williams) parent’s house. Naturally, it’s in a secluded spot in the woods. When they get there, the awkwardness that might be expected from a first-time meeting gives way to a series of bizarre behaviors and interactions. While Chris initially takes it all in stride, it eventually becomes clear that there’s something sinister going on behind the scenes.

The acting and dialogue are highlights of the film, as is the camera work. In particular, Kaluuya’s eyebrows and head tilts are so expressive that the audience knows what’s going on in his head even as he politely brushes off eccentricities. A…

Game Review: Rise of the Tomb Raider (PS4)

Rise of the Tomb Raider is a solid sequel to 2013's Tomb Raider reboot. This time, Lara Croft is pursuing her father's research, which had led to his downfall and death. Most of the action takes place in Russia, with a brief interlude in Syria. Mechanics from the first game have been improved, locations are diverse, and Lara now starts out as a badass. Overall, Rise of the Tomb Raider is a terrific action/adventure platformer that has me looking forward to the next installment.

Ways Rise of the Tomb Raider Rocks
The game has plenty of strengths: a compelling lead, lots of exploration, fun puzzles, gorgeous visuals, and a thrilling soundtrack. As always, Lara is a star: she's a force of nature, laser focused on her goal; and neither words nor bullets will deter her. It's a joy to have her perform improbable physical feats as she seeks the Divine Source that her father obsessed over. Lara scales sheer walls of ice, mows through mercenaries with only a bow and arrows, and …