Monday, April 8, 2013

Where Is My Relax

On my last day at the office, during snack and coloring time, I am not kidding, two coworkers revealed that when they got laid off, it was "the best time" of their lives. They just relaxed and eventually found new jobs. I felt relieved when I heard that. I prepared to also enjoy my unexpected stay-cation.

Except I've mostly been cleaning, doing wedding planning, running errands, and then cleaning some more. FiancĂ© seems to think I spend my days playing Ni no Kuni. I wish.

Why do I clean so much? Well, I had a troubled childhood, so ordering my surroundings is my way of creating a sense of control over my own circumstances as an adult. Just kidding. I'm actually a superhero and organizing everything is my superpower.

But honestly, this is awesome. I no longer have to drag my unconscious self out of bed so that I can stuff myself into a ladies' monkey suit and march toward a building to spend eight hours in a six by six cubicle staring into a nineteen-inch monitor. Instead, I have a leisurely breakfast with my betrothed, and then plop down on a comfy couch and look for someone to pay me to do stuff. Or I track RSVPs and pick out songs for the nuptials. Showers occur when I have an upcoming face-to-face interview, or have to interact with other humans who do not intend to enter into a lifetime commitment with me.

On a side note, why why why are interviewers always late? Is it fashionable now?

My days are made brighter by a sweet little spot of furry sunshine, who bellow-meows to get my attention and then gives me pointed looks that say, "It's nap time and I need you. As a bed." I often have Sheba on my lap as I type, although that tends to backfire when she rests her head on my forearm and prevents me from reaching the keyboard.

So I guess, in answer to the question, "Where is my relax?" -- it's right here, right now. These are my softly glowing days of hope, promise, and comfort.

Tune in for the inevitable followup post: "Where is My Paycheck," wherein we all know that the answer is, "No job, no paycheck!"

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to talk to a person about a thing at a place. Phone interviews yeahhhhh