Thursday, March 14, 2013

Happy International Women's Day! Now Get Out.

International Women's Day dawned dark and ominous. Snow and slush marred Boston's cityscape. My office opened late that day, but the announcement did not reach me in time. I trudged resolutely to my cubicle, prepared to face another day of writing or research, or at the very least, a lot of news reading.

Alas, 'twas not to be. My boss called me into her office and explained that my position would be eliminated at the end of the month. I sat in stunned, stoic silence. I had the presence of mind to murmur that I understood and wished the company well. I even added that I would miss having her as a supervisor. All true, dear readers.

And then, the walk of shame to HR. The contract saying I must be nice and not say nasty things about the company that both giveth and taketh away. The puppy dog eyes of Fiancé when I told him over lunch.

I went home and joined LinkedIn at Fiancé's suggestion. My word, is it ever so aggressive! It nagged me with three pages of names and faces. I checked my favorite humans, the ones I actually knew and interacted with in a non-shallow manner. Fiancé helped me take a profile photo so prospective employers could take one look at my hamster-cheeked visage and declare that I am The One...

...Who Ate All the Sandwiches. Also true.

Then I checked job listings and knocked off some applications. I crafted cover letters and adjusted my resume to match each individual position.

I slogged to my cubicle on Monday, utterly exhausted. I also felt the beginnings of resentment. I liked my job. I would cling like a barnacle to my desk if I could. Why did this happen?

Since everyone who knew carried on being so gosh darned nice, my fury turned inward. I lambasted myself for being a loser. Why, why, why did I suck so bad? If I sucked less, I could remain gainfully employed for years! Loser! Loser! Loser!

Fiancé saw that dark flame, grabbed it, and stomped it into the ground. He made sure to feed me well while I processed everything. He even ironed my work pants! That made me wonder -- did I get laid off to restore karmic balance?

So here I am, counting down the days. To freedom! To countless rejections! To being in my pajamas at eleven in the morning! And eventually, to a new beginning!

As my mom would say: "Haaay, buhay. Parang life." ("Oh, life. It's like life.")

Well, it's the only one I got. Bring it, world. This job hunt is SO ON.

Summer Book Recommendations