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The Digestive System on Lunch

We went to Neptune Oyster for lunch today. I imagine this is how my mom's digestive system went:

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Stomach
Increase gastric secretion to 40%! The cerebral cortex has been stimulated! By... let's see here... oysters!

Mouth
All exocrine salivary glands activated! Ready... ready... okay, here they come, go go go!

Esophagus
Let me just close the epiglottis over the trachea... Okay, begin peristaltic contractions! Let's get everything down to the tummy!

Stomach
All right, team, let's break down those proteins! Enzymes, are you at optimum conditions? Yes? Excellent! Let's turn those oysters into chyme and move it along!

Small Intestine
Contract! Relax! Contract! Relax! Contract! Relax! Contract! Relax! Contract! Relax!

Large Intestine
FERMENT EVERYTHING! Except the fluids. Reabsorb those.

Stomach
Gastric secretions still at peak levels! Now the cerebral cortex is reacting to lobster caprese salad!

Mouth
Oh, good, keep it all soft! Let's flood it with saliva and wash it down!

Esophagus
Epiglottis closed! Peristaltic contractions continuing!

Stomach
All right, team, you know the drill! It's going to be like this for the next hour! Break it all down! Gastrin, Secretin, CCK, GIP, Motilin, we're countin' on you!

Small Intestine
Contract! Relax! Contract! Relax! Contract! Relax! Contract! Relax! Contract! Relax!

Large Intestine
Ferment, ferment, reabsorb, reabsorb...

Stomach
The hypothalamus and medulla oblongata report a lobster roll on the way! Let's go, acids!

Mouth
OOOHHHHH HOT BUTTERED ROLLS AND FRENCH FRIES OM NOM NOM NOM

Esophagus
Oh god, when will it stop?

Stomach
Yes we can! Yes we can! This is the entree! This is our moment!

Small Intestine
Contract! Relax! Contract! Relax! Contract! Relax! Contract! Relax! Contract! Relax!

Large Intestine
Storing feces.

Stomach
Whew! All done! Great work, everyone! ...Oh, uh, we're getting cupcakes, all units stand by... Oh, false alarm, it's for later. Whew! ...Wait, wait, we might have to deal with a giant mango... Wait for it, wait for it... Nope, not right now. Later. Later! Great job, team! Let's take a nice break, eh? ...Oh, wait, okay, just small, tiny amounts of mango and cupcake. We can do this, team!

Entire Digestive System
(groan)

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Thanks to Wikipedia's Digestion entry!


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