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Fitness Test

How fit are you?

I went to the gym yesterday to find the answer to this burning question via fitness test. R, the perky "Master Personal Trainer," had me go through the following steps:

1. Paperwork: First, you must confess to having a bad back/smoking/diabetes/etc. and sign a waiver promising not to sue the gym if you get hurt.

2. Shoulder Flexibility: Stand facing a wall and clench your fists with your thumbs tucked in. Reach back, right arm up top and left arm from the bottom, and see how close you can get your fists together. Do the same for the other side. With years of experience zipping up my own dresses, I aced this test. For some reason, Fiancé can do even better than me, despite not having the same excuse. Hmmmm. (suspicious look)

3. Body Fat Measurement: R took little calipers and squeezed my chub-chubs at the triceps area, abdomen, and love handles. More on that later.

4. Upper Body Strength: I had to do a proper push-up and a girl push-up (on knees, feet up).

My core strength will save the world!
5. Core Strength: The next bit involved being on your hands and knees and doing the superman (extend right arm and left leg) and bringing the elbow to the knee. I could do that, fine. Then R asked me to extend my arm and leg on the same side, and then touch my elbow and knee. It's harder than it sounds! I kept flopping over, meaning I had pathetic core strength. Finally, I had to do as many sit-ups as I could in one minute. I did 30. Not good enough for the army, but pretty okay.

6. Leg Mobility: I lay as flat as possible on a table with my legs dangling and R told me my iliotibial tract (the outer part of the thigh) looked tight. Not tight in a good way; tight as in "needs help." She had me roll my thighs on a glorified rolling pin. It hurt.

7. Posture: R made me walk normally from one end of the room to the other. Apparently, I look like I'm carrying a bag on one shoulder.

8. Leg Power: I had to squat as low as possible. R said my knees tend to buckle inward.

I need to work on my core strength and posture.
I need to loosen up the muscles in my thighs.
I need to keep track of what I eat so R knows whether or not to yell at me.

The biggest downer was that I was 30% body fat, i.e. I'm a walking jelly donut. We set my goal to 26% -- still above average (24% is ideal for women), but something I can accomplish in two months. R said that my belly chubs was "80% diet," meaning working out my abs like a beast can be easily undermined by 10 minutes at a bar with wings, nachos, and beer. Sigh.

Check out this article by CrossFit Gym to see different images of runway models vs. gym bunnies vs. "skinny" fatties.

Unrelated: R also asked where I'm from, because she detected "a teensy bit of accent." LOL

Happy Monday!

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