Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Moral of the Story Is...

At our office staff meeting yesterday, I coined the phrase, "Summer of turmoil, Fall of sorrow," which my coworkers repeated with chuckles and sad sighs. I really do foresee things getting worse, not better, and nowhere is this more obvious than in the imminent return of Horrible Coworker (HC).

Let me break it down for you: HC thinks she's special and entitled to more benefits than everyone else. She's rude on e-mail, calls us "unprofessional" at every opportunity, and delights in gossiping. Her spelling and grammar are beyond atrocious. For a brief, shining year, she suppressed her psychosis enough to be friends with a bunch of us, but there were enough episodes of her snapping and suddenly acting like a petulant grade-schooler that we all eventually backed off, and she found herself without real friends in the office.

She found a new job in July and I did a happy dance. But now she's coming back, for reasons unknown. The kicker is that she firmly believes we should apologize to her. Apparently, when nobody likes you, the problem is definitely not you. This person, my dears, is a prime candidate for a study examining rationality as an evolved illusion.

What to do? The answer is obvious! Stay positive! Be professional! ...And then consume copious amounts of alcohol and whine to my mom.

Ye gads...