Sunday, July 19, 2009

Abs & Ants: A Treatise


The prevalence of abdominal muscles can serve as a measure of national development, which for the purposes of this blog post will be defined as a country's ability to provide for the social needs of its citizens, including education, healthcare, housing, and so on. The ubiquity of these muscles, or abs, is inversely proportional to national development. Thus, Bangladesh has a low level of national development, given the fact that a large proportion of its male population has six packs.

It must be noted that abs can be used as an indicator only if they come as a result of manual labor. In Bangladesh, the rickshaw drivers represent the majority of the so-called Ab Group (cf. Dr. Santa Maria, Abs is Fabs, 2008). The amount of physical force necessary to propel an unoccupied rickshaw up an incline is considerable; more so the strength required to ferry a maximum of three passengers, or six sacks of grain products, around the city under the hot sun.

Strangely, the generally mild attitude of rickshaw drivers stand in marked contrast to their counterparts in developed nations -- the taxi drivers -- who are usually surly and/or chatty. In any case, the physical characteristics of the Ab Group clearly demonstrate the inverse relationship between abs and national development.

As with abs, the health of the ant population stands inversely proportional to the level of national development. The existence of a variety of ant types, coupled with the sheer number of ant nests in typical households, indicate the inadequacy of Bangladesh's social structure, as well as the yielding quality of its wood products. Similarly, the number of ant bites that one experiences at night in one's own bed makes it clear that Bangladesh, as a nation, is still in the early stages of development.

Bangladesh (from "bangla," their language, and "desh," meaning country) has only been in existence since 1971. To make an analogy appropriate to the patriarchal structure of its society, Bangladesh is the awkward, dowry-less and therefore unattractive little cousin of India. Its status may change in the future, but in the meantime let's enjoy the abs and revile the ants.