2019 Summer Reading List

Summer is upon us: another exciting chance to grumble about how damn hot it is, or, if you're in New England, how cold and rainy it is! If your eyes ache from staring into screens too much, might I suggest reading ~books~ instead? *adjusts imaginary glasses* (E-readers are for intellectuals and therefore do not qualify as screens.)

Below are my top three summer reading recommendations, aka the last three books I read:

SCI-FI/FANTASY: FIRE & BLOOD, GEORGE R.R. MARTIN (2018)
 

Fire & Blood is part one of two prequels describing Targaryen rule in Westeros. Apart from the usual incest and grotesque murders, the book contains numerous spectacular scenes that make the infamous family of dragonlords so compellingly awful yet awesome. The dragons alone are worth the price of admission, but at one point, a man launches himself from a dragon onto another man riding a dragon. That is commitment to winning, my friend. Best of all, the book's central conceit is that George R.R. Martin is a scribe for this period of Targaryen history, so the text is littered with ponderings regarding the veracity of conflicting accounts about specific Targaryens. Overall, a wildly entertaining journey, and I cannot wait for part two (and the rest of A Song of Ice and Fire, ahem ahem).

NONFICTION: THE GIRL WITH THE LOWER BACK TATTOO, AMY SCHUMER (2016)

Amy Schumer is at her funniest when her humor is self-deprecating, and this book is chock-full of that. In addition to fond reminiscences of her family, The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo reveals how to get to the top in comedy: by being obsessed and working your tail off. Schumer also addresses dating, being an introvert, her new riches, and, on a more somber note, how affected she is by the shooting at a showing of her movie Trainwreck. This book is light, honest, and enjoyable, and I say that not as an Amy Schumer fan but as someone who initially passed on this book for a good three years before seeing a recommendation for it in a Jez comment forum. So yeah. Give it a go! Laughter is medicine.


HISTORICAL FICTION: THE SUMMER QUEEN, ELIZABETH CHADWICK (2013)

Eleanor of Aquitaine came to my attention via Netflix's The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Lilith, Mother of Demons, has a book about her, and what could be higher praise than that?). Elizabeth Chadwick's The Summer Queen, the first in a trilogy, tops the list for novels about this famous medieval French lady. Chadwick's prose is beautiful, describing both the landscapes and the characters' internal lives in clear and vivid detail. Wedded into the royal family as a teenager, Eleanor starts out so promisingly as the queen of France, before court intrigues and manly foibles drag her down. But through it all, she remains a stalwart believer in her own power and capability, and the novel ends with her embarking on a journey to be queen again, this time of England. Highly recommended for history buffs. The Crusades!

TL;DR: Books are our friends! Check out one or all of the above!

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This post brought to you by allergies! whyyyyyyyy

Game Review: Valkyria Chronicles 4 (Switch)

Valkyria Chronicles 4 (VC4) is a frequently challenging military strategy game that is heavily invested in its storytelling. While very similar in terms of aesthetics and gameplay, it boasts improvements over its predecessor, 2013's Valkyria Chronicles (my review here). Overall, it's a terrific game that lives up to the standards set by the original.

Like VC, VC4 occurs during the war against the Empire, but on the chillier Eastern Front. In VC4, the protagonists are Claude Wallace and his Ranger Corps, Squad E. Squad E is charged with ending the war via a bold, decisive strike against the Empire. Unfortunately, the most powerful Valkyria, the unstable Crymaria, stands in their way, along with a tank battalion commanded by the flamboyant Klaus Walz (oh my goddess, I just now noticed the similarities in the hero name and villain name!!! Truly, VC is a series where subtlety goes to die.). Meanwhile, the twisted Lord Belgar and his "special" unit wait in the shadows for their chance to strike. Will our heroes triumph???

Of course, and it's so satisfying! Briefly, campaigns consist of positioning units, each with their own unique abilities, around a battlefield, with the perpetual goal of capturing the enemy base/s. Individual units have AP (Action Points), which is a bar denoting how far they can move afield, and they use up player CP (Command Points) when given orders. So, for example, selecting a Scout takes one CP, and moving that Scout to a specific spot will consume AP. It's all very intuitive, and once again the graphics and environment are top-notch, making battles both fun and stressful. For example, units can duck behind sand bags or crawl through tall grass to avoid damage, or evade enemy line of sight by hiding between buildings or something else suitably large. Such tactics, combined with thoughtful strategy, are well rewarded. 

I mentioned earlier that VC4 has a leg up on the first VC, and this shows up in four new gameplay elements. First is the SP (Special Point), which is a once-per-turn ability that lets your officers lead up to two other units around, which is extremely useful for conserving CP. I have spammed super-Scout Minerva many a time using this skill, using her superior range to overcome the limitations of heavier units (Grenadiers, Lancers). Speaking of, the Grenadiers are the second improvement in the game: a new unit that can destroy armored enemy units from a distance. So, like snipers, but for tanks! Third, the Squad Stories, which are earned by fulfilling certain conditions (e.g. complete X mission, finish X number of Skirmishes), are like mini-battles that give your troops more personality and enhanced skill sets! They also have ridiculous titles, like "All the Single Ladies," which is particularly memorable to me because I completely screwed the pooch on that one and finished in 10 turns instead of my typical 2-3. *blush* Anyway, the Squad Stories are definitely worth the time, and absolutely mandatory for completionists. Finally, players can equip bonus-granting items on characters, such as boots that increase AP, gunpowder that increases attack power, etc.

Amidst its strengths, VC4's most glaring weakness is the slow menu navigation. When in Book Mode, players must suffer through constant pop-up prompts: "Are you sure you want to return to Headquarters?" and page-turning sequences, and unskippable character dialogue in certain areas (e.g. the Training Field and the R&D Facility). This is a minor quibble, true, but VC4 would be near-perfect if Book Mode were snappier.

In conclusion, VC4 is a must for fans of the first VC, and for those who enjoy strategy games in general. Yes, everyone has a weirdly pointy chin and giant hands, but the campaigns will test you, the soundtrack will pump you up, and the tragic stories--from the lowliest recruit to the mighty Valkyria--will make you all the more determined to end the war once and for all. Best of all, the game portrays its antagonists in such a way that discerning players must ask the question: "Wait, are WE the bad guys?" Fenrir sure thinks so!

Fenrir is a GOOD BOY and will always be there for Crymaria and her exposed thigh!

TL;DR: Addictive, get yours today!

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This post brought to you by spring allergies! *shakes fist* POLLEEEEEENNNNN!!!

Book Review: Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers (2003)

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers is very educational and frequently funny, because author Mary Roach is curious, odd (in a good way!), and unafraid to broach icky topics. While morbid, Stiff reveals a whole new world, and might perhaps inspire readers to contemplate the possibility of contributing to a field--or various fields!--after one's passing.

In a nutshell, the book is about some of the various ways cadavers, or select bits of them, are used in different areas, such as surgery practice, crash impact testing, crime investigations, and so on. Each chapter is flavored with Roach's personal reflections and observations, revealing a fascination not with the macabre, but in the utility of, shall we say, expired biological masses with no consciousness. Roach's methodology, which consists of guided visits to the sites using cadavers, affords her firsthand glimpses (and smells, alas) of the many ways in which the formerly alive continue to serve a purpose.

There is a plethora of new information to be found in this work, the most useful to me being how exactly getting hit with a car works (the fender hits your ankle, the hood hits your hip, and you cartwheel into the windshield). Roach also describes the once-lucrative business of grave robbing, back in the days when physicians and medical schools had...less rigorous ethical standards. In addition, she details certain gruesome experiments in the past century, involving transplanting limbs and heads, performed in the name of discovery. And there's a chapter on crucifixion studies, too (?!).

Through it all, the author remains respectful about the subject matter, and declares herself willing to be used to advance science in her afterlife. Overall, Stiff is, like all of Roach's other books, immensely entertaining and edifying, and is a page-turner.

TL;DR: Interesting, funny, and sometimes horrifying. Recommended!

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This post brought to you by Caffè Nero!