Although we arrived a full 30 minutes before opening, there were more than a dozen people ahead of us already. Nerds. A small line formed behind us, too, and we all chatted nervously about our chances of getting one of the limited units.
The store opened on time, and we all inched forward. As we got closer to the store proper, my heart sank as I saw the sign posted on the door: only 20 units stocked. I didn't know how many people were in line ahead of us, but I was about to find out.
One by one, the early birds filed out, gripping their purchases. About midway through, I spotted one lady with a larger bag--she had purchased three units! Soon enough, we were almost there. There were two registers, and the fellow ahead of us surged to the open one. Alas, the man at the register beside him had just gotten the final unit. We were all told this disappointing news, and we all filed away dejectedly.
I figured that since the fellow and I were next in line to get a unit, and there were 20 units available, and a lady had gotten three instead of one like everyone else had, Junior and I were actually customers #20. Had the villain not taken an extra two units, we would have walked out of there triumphantly instead of sadly.
Furious, I vowed never to give Nintendo my money again. I was so upset that when I saw a Kotaku article claiming that the SNES Classic rollout was going just fine, I deleted the site from my bookmarks. Take that, fake news!
And then I discovered Super Mario Run:
An iOS (!) Mario game! I read the glowing reviews and downloaded immediately. Then I played a little bit and gave Nintendo five bucks, because I am weak and also this game is super fun.
There are three modes: Tour, which has six worlds; Remix 10, which has shorter runs but goes up to 30 levels; and Rally, where you compete against other players to recruit Toads of various colors. This lets you build up your kingdom. Princess Peach joins once you complete the World Tour, meaning you can play as her during Rallies. You can also buy a buildings and decorations via the coins you collect.
Below is my kingdom, connected by a rainbow bridge:
The most interesting part about Super Mario Run is that Mario/bonus character can only move forward. (There are special tiles that let Mario leap backward, however, but then he quickly moves forward again.) So you really need excellent timing or else you'll miss the bonus coins, or die.
Other aspects of the gameplay are outstanding. Controls are smooth. The music is terrific: remixed versions of the good ol' Mario soundtrack. The extra modes prolong the game, and thus enjoyment. I'm almost halfway through Remix 10, and when I finish, I will probably be over that evil lady who stole my SNES Classic from under my nose. Maybe.
TL;DR: Nintendo did not make enough SNES Classic units but they still got my money.
This post brought to you by preschooler cold virus!