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Showing posts from February, 2015

Movie Review: John Wick (2014)

100 minutes of judo, bullets, and Keanu Reeves getting progressively angrier until he goes off like...something that is not a wick, because let's face it, when you think wick you think candle. A candle does not suggest righteous ass-kicking fury. Keanu should have been named John Fuse, is what I am saying. The Word Ninja has spoken.

John Wick is a terrific action movie that overcomes its terrible trailer. It's a straightforward tale--and I'm not spoiling anything here because the trailer already did!--of a man who loses his wife and his dog, in that order, and goes on a roaring rampage of revenge against the twatwaffle whodunit.

The movie is a joy to watch because of the fight choreography, the sly nod to nerds (look for the red shirts!), and the various, often humorous ways in which people interact with John Wick. As the person "you send to kill the bogeyman," he has a bit of a rep, and everyone who knows him respects him--and then poops their pants or backs slow…

Movie Review: The Equalizer (2014)

From the director of Training Day comes a movie where Denzel Washington is smooth and kills people...just like most other Denzel films. Watch it anyway, obviously.

Apart from Denzel, there are three things that make The Equalizer a great watch: the cinematography, the soundtrack, and the action. Dear lord, the action. Boyfriend gets intense.

Denzel plays Robert McCall, a worker at a Home Depot lookalike. He's sweet, friendly, and helpful to his coworkers. He's a good guy. But his low-key facade is belied by his tics: his spotless apartment, obsession with timing his actions, and sleeplessness. It's on one of these sleepless nights that he encounters someone doing something "unspeakable," as he would say, and he decides to do something about it.

Just like in Man on Fire, Denzel's murder rampage is motivated by a protective instinct for a young girl. Unlike Man on Fire, I did not feel like I was having a seizure as he calmly shoots, stabs, gasses, etc. all the …

Mamá Bar & Fine Dining

~ Welcome ~
Thank you for selecting Mamá as your exclusive source of nutrition. Here in this fine establishment, we pride ourselves on our flavorful array of offerings. Oui, a taste that satisfies the stomach and delights the palate is always on hand!

~ Prix Fixe Menu ~ All items charged to future mommy guilt trips.
An exhaustion-sprinkled serving of the daily special with a groggy accompaniment of, "Is it Time to Get Up Already?" by our live band.

A small serving of the daily special infused with egg, cheese, and greens on whole wheat bread flavor,with a generous heaping of exasperation as the customer wiggles maniacally.

Second Breakfast
A modest, banana-flavored serving of the daily special to fuel tummy time or other mobility-related activities.

A hearty serving of the daily special, marinated in protein and grains,with hints of trytophan in preparation for siesta.

A mid-siesta daily special snack tasting of seasonal fruit, specially form…

We Have Too Much Snow, Please Send Puppies


And if I hear another "winter of our discontent" line from a news anchor I shall be very cross.

Granted, it's pretty terrible. Traffic has been a mess for two weeks now, our public transportation barely works, the transportation head just quit, and we're straight up dumping dirty snow and salt and antifreeze into the waters, apologies to the fishies.

I take comfort in the fact that we're in our temporary digs, so there's not as much shoveling for Fragrant Husband!

Still, with another storm forecasted for this weekend, I would like to request puppies. Specifically, please send sled dog breeds, like Huskies or Greenland Dogs. I won't use them to sled to work, I'll just play with them. They will warm my heart as the city freezes over again.

I would prefer to go to work on Katy Perry's giant lion from the Superbowl halftime show, but that means waking up extra early bec…

Babywearing: Boba Wrap vs. Ergobaby

Back when Junior weighed around the same as a bowling ball, I carried him around--excuse me, I wore my baby, because sunshine unicorns flowers motherhood.

Babywearing is a tool in the attachment parents', er, toolbox, a means of raising the best baby possible. Having your little squirmer practically stapled to your body calms him/her, especially in the early weeks out of the womb. Calm baby = happy family, so much like "Breast is best," "Babywearing is caring!" or something like that, I'm sure.

Since capitalism is the font of all things, an array of babywearing products is available to parents: slings, ring slings, soft carriers, wraps, and staplers. Just kidding on that last one.

I own two bits of such gear: one I bought (Boba Wrap), and one a gift (original Ergobaby). Below are the pros and cons of each one:

GearProsConsBoba Wrap
No straps, just one long piece of fabricPacks up into a small bag
Useless unless cinched really tightCan't see my baby past t…